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BeckyGreenBeans's picture

Hi Oleks,

Thanks for this.

Here, you say '...

Sunday, September 15, 2019 - 23:58
BeckyGreenBeans's picture

Hi,

Thanks for this. I can see your creative...

Sunday, September 15, 2019 - 23:35
Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! Thank you for your comment and corrections! I...

Sunday, September 15, 2019 - 19:34
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Kealin! I will try to use shorter sentences...

Sunday, September 15, 2019 - 19:27
Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! At the time I myself was only sitting at the...

Sunday, September 15, 2019 - 19:21

Commas 11

Rule number 11: coordinate adjectives should be separated with commas. On the contrary, non-coordinate adjectives should be written without commas. To understand what adjectives are in front of you, you need to try to swap them. For example:
"This pure little thing."
"That silver space shuttle."
If people cared not only about how to provide themselves and their families with all possible boons, they could bring the Desert back to where it came from. That did not happen. I think they also played against themselves by cutting down trees. Howbeit, at some point, the Desert began to move and began to take over the land. It devoured forests, lakes, and rivers, and so it continued until the whole planet turned into the Desert.

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Accent

The learner's ability to pronounce words shared by the people of a particular country or region of the language they are learning.

Good effort at accent. Quite close to that of a native speaker
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Fluency

The learner's ability to speak continuously by chunking and linking words together. For example, instead of saying very slowly, "I - am - poor. I - have - no - money" like a robot, a fluent speaker would say, "I'm poor because I don't have any money."

Speech is relatively smooth; some hesitation and unevenness caused by rephrasing and searching for words
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Smooth and fluid speech; few to no hesitations; no attempts to search for words; volume is excellent
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Speech is frequently hesitant with some sentences left uncompleted
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Intonation

The learner's ability to understand the relative emphasis that may be given to certain syllables in a word, or to certain words in a phrase or sentence

Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 50-90% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 90-100% accuracy.
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Pronunciation

The learners' ability to enunciate the various consonants, consonant blends, vowels, and vowel blends in words, words linked together, and words in sentences.

The pronunciation contained some individual word pronunciation errors. Around 3-4 errors
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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
5885

Hi Oleks,

I am really enjoying your story! I am very concerned about the state of our planet. Even though we are aware of the destruction we cause by cutting down trees and polluting our environment, we continue to take no major action.

With regards to your written and spoken English, I have the following points to add:

  • [ aj-ik-tiv ] - I am being picky here. However, I think you should put more emphasis on the beginning of this word - the "aj" sound.

  • If people cared not only about how to provide themselves  - If people cared not only about how to provide for themselves (Another phrasal verb "to provide for" which is useful for you to learn about: https://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/british/provide-for)
  • played against themselves this phrase is not grammatically wrong. That said, it does not sound "natural" to me in this context. I would say something like " by cutting down trees, I think they caused themselves great harm. "
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Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
3654

Hi Ed! Thank you for providing me for your very useful corrections! I am also very glad that you like my humble story. :)

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
5519

Hi Oleks.  A very good post.  I have made a few corrections below. (I thought your intonation was better in this post!)

Rule number 11: coordinate adjectives should be separated with commas. On the contrary, non-coordinate adjectives should be written without commas. To understand what adjectives are in front of you, you need to try to swap them. For example:

"This pure poor little thing."  [I have changed this because "poor little thing" is a recognised descriptive phrase.  I don't know why you'd say "pure little thing].



"That silver space shuttle."  [Space shuttle is treated like one word so a better example would be "That bright, shiny, silver space shuttle" 



If people cared not only did not just care about how to provide for themselves and their families with all possible boons and how they could benefit, they could bring the Desert back to where it came from. That did not happen. I think they also played against made things worse for themselves by cutting down trees. HowbeitHowever, at some point, the Desert began to move and began to take over the land. It devoured forests, lakes, and rivers, and so it continued until the whole planet turned into the Desert. [Howbeit is very rarely used so I think 'However' would be a better choice here]

 

 

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Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
3654

HI Ros!
Thank you for your comment! You are right, I meant "poor". This is a technical error.

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kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
2680

Rule number 11: coordinate adjectives should be separated with commas. On the contrary, non-coordinate adjectives should be written without commas. To understand what adjectives are in front of you, you need to try to swap them. For example:

"This pure little thing."

"That silver space shuttle."

If people cared not only about how to provide themselves and their families with all possible boons, they could bring the desert back to where it came from. That did not happen. I think they also played against themselves by cutting down trees. Howbeit, at some point, the desert began to move and began to take over the land. It devoured forests, lakes, and rivers, and so it continued until the whole planet turned into the desert. (Could rewrite this sentence as, "It continued until the whole planet turned into the desert devouring forest, lakes and rivers.")

Nice job on text

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
3654

Hi Kjcoffin!
Thank you for your notes!

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