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Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! Thank you! "The wind was increasing" - I think...

1 hour 16 min ago
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Kealin! This text was difficult for me...

1 hour 19 min ago
Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! Thank you for your comment and link! "The girl...

1 hour 24 min ago
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Kealin, for your comment and advise! I will...

1 hour 26 min ago
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Ros! Your comments always motivate me for...

1 hour 31 min ago

Desert 40

When our headman left, followed by a respectful silence, it was our foreman's turn to give orders.
"Now you guys will dig to expand your yesterday's trench from this pole to that," he pointed to two poles dug in about twenty steps between them. "You must make it with a width of at least two steps everywhere with the same depth before lunch. All dug out soil must be lifted onto the rampart. You will have lunch after that only. Please don't forget: our headman will check you."

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CategoryAdequate to goodGood to ExcellentNeeds work
Accent

The learner's ability to pronounce words shared by the people of a particular country or region of the language they are learning.

Good effort at accent. Quite close to that of a native speaker
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Excellent effort at accent. Extremely close to that of a native speaker.
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Limited effort at accent. Definitely a non-native speaker
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Fluency

The learner's ability to speak continuously by chunking and linking words together. For example, instead of saying very slowly, "I - am - poor. I - have - no - money" like a robot, a fluent speaker would say, "I'm poor because I don't have any money."

Speech is relatively smooth; some hesitation and unevenness caused by rephrasing and searching for words
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Smooth and fluid speech; few to no hesitations; no attempts to search for words; volume is excellent
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Speech is frequently hesitant with some sentences left uncompleted
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Intonation

The learner's ability to understand the relative emphasis that may be given to certain syllables in a word, or to certain words in a phrase or sentence

Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 50-90% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 90-100% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with < 50% accuracy
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Pronunciation

The learners' ability to enunciate the various consonants, consonant blends, vowels, and vowel blends in words, words linked together, and words in sentences.

The pronunciation contained some individual word pronunciation errors. Around 3-4 errors
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The pronunciation is exceptional and mirrors a native speaker. Shows a clear understanding of word stress and intonation. Only 0-2 errors
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The pronunciation is inconsistent and made it difficult to understand. 5 or more errors
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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert) Spanish (Beginner)
6493

Good job again, Oleks! Keep going!

When our headman left, followed by a respectful silence, it was our foreman's turn to give orders.

"Now you guys will dig to expand your yesterday's trench from this pole to that one," he pointed to two poles dug in with about twenty steps between them. "You must make dig it with a width of at least two steps everywhere in all directions with the same depth before lunch. All dug out soil must be lifted onto over the rampart. You will have lunch after that only. Please don't forget: our headman will check you."

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
4709

Thank you, Ali! Your notes are very useful!

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kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
3190

When our headman left, followed by/there was a respectful silence. It was our foreman's turn to give orders.

"Now you guys will dig to expand your trench from yesterday yesterday's trench from this pole to that," as he pointed to two poles dug in with about twenty steps between them. "You must make it with a width of at least two steps everywhere with the same depth before lunch. All dug out soil must be lifted onto the rampart. You will have lunch after that only. Please don't forget: our headman will check you."

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
4709

Hi Kealin! Thank you for your notes!

0
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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
6068

When our headman left, followed by a respectful silence, it was our foreman's turn to give orders.

"Now you guys will dig to expand your yesterday's the trench you dug yesterday from this pole to that," he pointed to two poles dug in about twenty steps between them. "You must make it with a the width of at least two steps everywhere and with the same depth before lunch. All dug out soil must be lifted onto the rampart. You will have lunch after that only after you have finished this. Please don't forget: our headman will check on you."

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
4709

Hi Ros! Thank you! After your corrections the text looks much better!

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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
6725

Hi Oleks,

The targets the foreman sets the workers are extremely challenging! Digging is such an exhausting activity and I always have to remind myself that these settlers do not have any machinery to make the task any easier. I bet they are all extremely healthy though and none of them are physically unfit like many people here in the UK haha!

With regards to your English, the members above have done a fantastic job of evaluating it. I would just like to add the following point. 

  • our headman will check you. - The headman is only interested in the progress the workers make with the task they have been given (he is certainly not interested in the workers themselves). Therefore, I would change this phrase to the following "our headman will monitor/check your work"

 

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
4709

Hi Ed! Thank you! "Check your work" or "monitor your work" will be right. I agree - good ecology and the absence of pollutants do wonders.

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