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Natali Lima's picture

Hi Ed. I have plans to record each tip at a time so I'll...

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Tuesday, November 12, 2019 - 20:40
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Tuesday, November 12, 2019 - 20:38
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Tuesday, November 12, 2019 - 20:26
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Tuesday, November 12, 2019 - 20:22

Desert 60

"You don't have to do this," I said. "No one should care what you think about the gods."
"But so accepted," Omah objected. "I think it is right. Your settlement accepted us, also gave us shelter, protection, and food. All we can respond is to accept your culture for ourselves, in its entirety."
"Different cultures generate a wealth of diversity," said Ilak.
"But not within the same settlement," Omah retorted. "Different cultures also cause discord. This cannot be allowed in our conditions. In war, this can be deadly, and here we have a constant war - against the desert and each other."

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CategoryAdequate to goodGood to ExcellentNeeds work
Accent

The learner's ability to pronounce words shared by the people of a particular country or region of the language they are learning.

Good effort at accent. Quite close to that of a native speaker
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Excellent effort at accent. Extremely close to that of a native speaker.
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Limited effort at accent. Definitely a non-native speaker
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Fluency

The learner's ability to speak continuously by chunking and linking words together. For example, instead of saying very slowly, "I - am - poor. I - have - no - money" like a robot, a fluent speaker would say, "I'm poor because I don't have any money."

Speech is relatively smooth; some hesitation and unevenness caused by rephrasing and searching for words
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Smooth and fluid speech; few to no hesitations; no attempts to search for words; volume is excellent
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Speech is frequently hesitant with some sentences left uncompleted
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Intonation

The learner's ability to understand the relative emphasis that may be given to certain syllables in a word, or to certain words in a phrase or sentence

Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 50-90% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 90-100% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with < 50% accuracy
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Pronunciation

The learners' ability to enunciate the various consonants, consonant blends, vowels, and vowel blends in words, words linked together, and words in sentences.

The pronunciation contained some individual word pronunciation errors. Around 3-4 errors
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The pronunciation is exceptional and mirrors a native speaker. Shows a clear understanding of word stress and intonation. Only 0-2 errors
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The pronunciation is inconsistent and made it difficult to understand. 5 or more errors
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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
7276

Hi Oleks,

I am glad the newcomers are willing to adapt to life in their new home. It must be so hard for them to have to learn about and worship new gods and adopt new cultural traditions.

With regards to your English, please see some of my comments

  • "But so accepted," Omah objected - (the phrase "but so accepted" seems strange and does not make a lot of sense) I would say something like "But I want to". (Presumably Omah wants to let you know what he thinks / share his thoughts about the gods?)
  • also gave us shelter, protection, and food - it also gave us shelter, protection and food
  • All we can respond is to accept your culture for ourselves, in its entirety." - All we can do is respond by accepting your culture for ourselves, in its entirety." (Omah is describing what they are continually going to do, so the present continuous tense should be used here)
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
5539

Hi Ed! Thank you for your explanations!

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
6258

Good text AND good audio - Well done Oleks.  I've made a couple of suggestions which I hope make sense.

"You don't have to do this," I said. "No one should care what you think about the gods."

"But so accepted," [Perhaps:  'But I want to be part of your culture' would make sense?] Omah objected. "I think it is right. Your settlement accepted us, also gave us shelter, protection, and food. All The only way we can respond is to accept your culture for ourselves, in its entirety."

"Different cultures generate a wealth of diversity," said Ilak.

"But not within the same settlement," Omah retorted. "Different cultures also cause discord. This cannot be allowed in our conditions. In war, this can be deadly, and here we have a constant war - against the desert and each other."

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
5539

Hi Ros! Thank you! Your option sounds better to me. I am glad that my audio sounds better this time.

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