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Natali Lima's picture

Hi Ed. I have plans to record each tip at a time so I'll...

9 hours 26 min ago
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Tuesday, November 12, 2019 - 20:40
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Tuesday, November 12, 2019 - 20:38
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Tuesday, November 12, 2019 - 20:26
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Tuesday, November 12, 2019 - 20:22

Desert 67

"Excuse me?" Omah asked.
"I mean, any religion teaches something, like, gives recommendations on what to do. It does not just give information," Ghorm explained.
"Ah! Well, the bottom line is that we must be prepared for everything and know that it will be even worse."
"I like it!" Ilak exclaimed.
We all laughed.
"As they say, he who is warned is armed," Omah continued. "Our gods are our enemies. Fortunately, each of them has his antipode, a kind of counterpart that is shared inside each of us. This is what helps us hold on. And we are trying that each of us has more of this and praying for it."

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CategoryAdequate to goodGood to ExcellentNeeds work
Accent

The learner's ability to pronounce words shared by the people of a particular country or region of the language they are learning.

Good effort at accent. Quite close to that of a native speaker
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Limited effort at accent. Definitely a non-native speaker
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Fluency

The learner's ability to speak continuously by chunking and linking words together. For example, instead of saying very slowly, "I - am - poor. I - have - no - money" like a robot, a fluent speaker would say, "I'm poor because I don't have any money."

Speech is relatively smooth; some hesitation and unevenness caused by rephrasing and searching for words
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Smooth and fluid speech; few to no hesitations; no attempts to search for words; volume is excellent
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Speech is frequently hesitant with some sentences left uncompleted
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Intonation

The learner's ability to understand the relative emphasis that may be given to certain syllables in a word, or to certain words in a phrase or sentence

Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 50-90% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 90-100% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with < 50% accuracy
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Pronunciation

The learners' ability to enunciate the various consonants, consonant blends, vowels, and vowel blends in words, words linked together, and words in sentences.

The pronunciation contained some individual word pronunciation errors. Around 3-4 errors
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The pronunciation is exceptional and mirrors a native speaker. Shows a clear understanding of word stress and intonation. Only 0-2 errors
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The pronunciation is inconsistent and made it difficult to understand. 5 or more errors
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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert) Spanish (Beginner)
6848

Well done, Oleks! Your English has improved a lot! And your writing is getting better every day, keep it up. Not much to say, you have done a great job.

"Excuse me?" Omah asked.
"I mean, any religion teaches [or preaches] something, like, gives recommendations on what to do. It does not just give information," Ghorm explained.
"Ah! Well, the bottom line is that we must be prepared for everything and know that it will be even worse."
"I like it!" Ilak exclaimed.
We all laughed.
"As they say, he who is warned is armed," Omah continued. "Our Gods are our enemies. Fortunately, each of them has his antipode, a kind of counterpart that is shared inside each of us. This is what helps us hold on [also, endure]. And we are trying so that each of us has more of this. and praying We also pray for it." 

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
5539

Hi Ali! Thank you for your encouraging! I am glad I am improving my writing.

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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
7276

Hi Oleks,

I found this very interesting - Omah's religion is so unlike any other I have come across. What does not make sense though is that when Omah and his people pray, who are they praying to? If the gods they worship are their enemies, what is the point in praying to them?

With regards to your English, Aliakbar has already done a very good job of evaluating it

I would just like to add the following comments

  • any religion teaches something, like, gives recommendations on what to do. - any religion teaches us something, like, it gives recommendations on what we should do.[I would recommend making this sentence shorter. For example, "all religions teach us something [would advise using the plural form here, as you are comparing Omah's religion to all the others]. For example, they all give us recommendations on what we should do. They do not just give information,".
  • know that it will be even worse. [I would suggest adding the word "outcome" to make this clearer] we must be prepared for everything and know that / be aware that the outcome of events will be even worse than we anticipate.
  • Fortunately, each of them has his antipode - Fortunately, each of them has his antipode [are you sure that all the gods who Omah and his people worship are male? ]
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
5539

Hi Ed! Thank you for your very detailed explanations. About your question: maybe they pray that the qualities that help them survive are better manifested in them. As to whether all the gods are men - probably not, so I'll add "her" in the sentence.

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