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BeckyGreenBeans's picture

Hi Oleks,

Thanks for this.

Here, you say '...

15 sec ago
BeckyGreenBeans's picture

Hi,

Thanks for this. I can see your creative...

22 min 34 sec ago
Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! Thank you for your comment and corrections! I...

4 hours 23 min ago
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Kealin! I will try to use shorter sentences...

4 hours 30 min ago
Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! At the time I myself was only sitting at the...

4 hours 36 min ago

Desert 7

Earlier, I mentioned two basic ways of survival. It is simple: you can live in a fortified place or be in constant motion. Nomads or settlers: that is what they call it. We are settlers, and our settlement Araks is located near the sea. As you can see, I already call this settlement ours, although we still mean nothing here. My job is to dig ditches and raise the ground to the ever-growing earthen ramparts. My wife's job is more intellectual - she is a scout. But in any case, we can not even appear in the center of a settlement, and in certain areas too.

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CategoryAdequate to goodGood to ExcellentNeeds work
Accent

The learner's ability to pronounce words shared by the people of a particular country or region of the language they are learning.

Good effort at accent. Quite close to that of a native speaker
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Excellent effort at accent. Extremely close to that of a native speaker.
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Limited effort at accent. Definitely a non-native speaker
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Fluency

The learner's ability to speak continuously by chunking and linking words together. For example, instead of saying very slowly, "I - am - poor. I - have - no - money" like a robot, a fluent speaker would say, "I'm poor because I don't have any money."

Speech is relatively smooth; some hesitation and unevenness caused by rephrasing and searching for words
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Smooth and fluid speech; few to no hesitations; no attempts to search for words; volume is excellent
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Speech is frequently hesitant with some sentences left uncompleted
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Intonation

The learner's ability to understand the relative emphasis that may be given to certain syllables in a word, or to certain words in a phrase or sentence

Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 50-90% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 90-100% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with < 50% accuracy
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Pronunciation

The learners' ability to enunciate the various consonants, consonant blends, vowels, and vowel blends in words, words linked together, and words in sentences.

The pronunciation contained some individual word pronunciation errors. Around 3-4 errors
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The pronunciation is exceptional and mirrors a native speaker. Shows a clear understanding of word stress and intonation. Only 0-2 errors
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The pronunciation is inconsistent and made it difficult to understand. 5 or more errors
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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
5519

Hi Oleks.  This is a very interesting piece!  Where does it come from? 

I have made a few 'tweaks' just to make it a little more natural.  We don't usually use a colon in the middle of a sentence.  A dash is more natural.  Your audio sounded good today and quite fluent.  However, you are still following the same intonation pattern in every sentence.  You go up in the middle of he sentence and drop down at the end.  See if you can practice varying this.

Earlier, I mentioned two basic ways of survival [I would say ways to survive or forms of survival].  It is simple: [I would use a dash '-' here rather than a colon] you can live in a fortified place or be in constant motion. Nomads or settlers: [again use a dash '-' here] that is what they call it. We are settlers, and our settlement [you need a coma here, before 'Araks'] Araks is located near the sea. As you can see, I already call this settlement ours, although we still mean nothing here [or perhaps we still have no importance here]. My job is to dig ditches and raise the ground to for the ever-growing earthen ramparts. My wife's job is more intellectual - she is a scout. But in any case, we cannot [make 'can not' all one word] even appear in the center [in the UK we use 'centre'] of a settlement, and or in certain other areas too either.

 

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
3654

Hi Ros!
Thank you! I just doubted what to use - a colon or a dash. You solved my doubts. About where does my story from, I make it up on the go.

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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
5885

Hi Oleks,

I really enjoyed reading this extract of yours. I am looking forward to what happens next. I wonder why your main job is to dig ditches and raise the ground. I'm guessing your settlement will come under attack!

With regards to your written and spoken English, Ros has done a great job of evaluating it. I would just like to add the following point:

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
3654

Hi Ed! Thank you! I hope my story will be interesting. The article you suggested is very good though although the difference betweent these concepts has not remained obvious for me.

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kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
2680

Earlier, I mentioned two basic ways of survival. It is simple: you can live in a fortified place or be in constant motion. Nomads or settlers: that is what they call it. We are settlers, and our settlement Araks is located near the sea. As you can see, I already call this settlement ours, although we still mean nothing here. My job is to dig ditches and raise the ground to the ever-growing earthen ramparts. My wife's job is more intellectual - she is a scout. But in any case, we can not even appear in the center of a settlement (no comma) and in certain areas too.

Nice job, very little to correct in this text. Keep going

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
3654

Hi Kjcoffin! Thank you!

0
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