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Alind's picture

Helew

1 hour 40 min ago
Aliakbar Majidi's picture

Hi, Oleks. Another compelling series of texts by you! I...

5 hours 56 min ago
Lynette's picture

Oleks you are very committed to learning English and I...

6 hours 8 min ago
Ros Watson's picture

Hi...

8 hours 1 min ago
Lynette's picture

Gracias Shazam por tu...

11 hours 6 min ago

Jump 13

Suddenly, I felt a jerk up, which returned me to normal. I heard a clap above me, looked up, and saw a white canopy of the parachute. With some degree of distrust, I realize that the parachute opened. A quick inspection of my equipment showed nothing wrong. I relaxed and started to look around.
It was surprisingly quiet. There was no wind around me. I realized that it should be so, as I flew in wind flow at the same speed.
The plane was moving away. It was in front of and above me, and blacks dots separated from it and became the domes of parachutes. From the opposite side, I saw a row of domes under me, of those who jumped before. They were quite far away; the nearest one was at least a hundred meters aside.
We were taught to check that there were no parachutes near, above and below. Otherwise, there is a danger of collision. If there is a parachute nearby, you need to control your parachute to direct its movement away. However, there was all right there.

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CategoryAdequate to goodGood to ExcellentNeeds work
Accent

The learner's ability to pronounce words shared by the people of a particular country or region of the language they are learning.

Good effort at accent. Quite close to that of a native speaker
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Excellent effort at accent. Extremely close to that of a native speaker.
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Limited effort at accent. Definitely a non-native speaker
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Fluency

The learner's ability to speak continuously by chunking and linking words together. For example, instead of saying very slowly, "I - am - poor. I - have - no - money" like a robot, a fluent speaker would say, "I'm poor because I don't have any money."

Speech is relatively smooth; some hesitation and unevenness caused by rephrasing and searching for words
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Smooth and fluid speech; few to no hesitations; no attempts to search for words; volume is excellent
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Speech is frequently hesitant with some sentences left uncompleted
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Intonation

The learner's ability to understand the relative emphasis that may be given to certain syllables in a word, or to certain words in a phrase or sentence

Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 50-90% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 90-100% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with < 50% accuracy
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Pronunciation

The learners' ability to enunciate the various consonants, consonant blends, vowels, and vowel blends in words, words linked together, and words in sentences.

The pronunciation contained some individual word pronunciation errors. Around 3-4 errors
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The pronunciation is exceptional and mirrors a native speaker. Shows a clear understanding of word stress and intonation. Only 0-2 errors
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The pronunciation is inconsistent and made it difficult to understand. 5 or more errors
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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
5164

Try and vary your intonation a bit more if you can.  Your pronunciation is good but the rise and fall of your voice is the same in each sentence.  Your writing is great.  Just be careful to keep to the same tense and use the past perfect for events that went before that were relevant to your situation at that time.  Well done though.  I'm really enjoying your account and look forward to the next instalment!

Suddenly, I felt a jerking up sensation, which returned me to normal [or perhaps to a vertical position?]. I heard a "clap" above me, looked up, and saw a the white canopy of the parachute. With After some degree of distrust, I realised that the parachute had opened. A quick inspection of my equipment showed nothing wrong. I relaxed and started to look around.

It was surprisingly quiet. There was no wind around me. I realized that it should be so this was as it should be, as I flew in wind flow at the same speed as the wind.

The plane was moving away. It was in front of and above me, and blacks  dots separated from it and became the domes of parachutes. From the opposite side, I saw a row of domes under me, of those who had jumped before. They were quite far away; the nearest one was at least a hundred meters aside.

We were taught to check that there were no parachutes near, either above and or below. Otherwise, there is would be a danger of collision. If there is was a parachute nearby, you would need to control your parachute to so that you directed its movement away. However, there was all right there everything was alright.

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
2725

Hi Ros,
Thank you! Actually, I meant a normal state of mind after semi-conscious being. :) I really liked your phrase "this was as it should be" and I will try to memorize it. Also, "I flew at the same speed as the wind" sound very poetic.

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kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
2230

Suddenly, I felt a jerk up which returned me to normal position. I heard a clap above me, looked up (no comma) and saw a white canopy of the parachute. With some degree of distrust, I realized that the parachute opened. A quick inspection of my equipment showed nothing wrong. I relaxed and started to look around.

It was surprisingly quiet. There was no wind around me. I realized that it should be so (no comma) as I flew in wind flow at the same speed at the same speed of the wind flow.

The plane was moving away. It was in front of and above me. Black dots separated from the plane and became the domes of parachutes. From the opposite side, I saw a row of domes under me (no comma) of those who jumped before. They were quite far away. The nearest one was at least a hundred meters aside.

We were taught to check that there were no parachutes near, above and below. Otherwise, there is a danger of collision. If there is a parachute nearby, you need to control your parachute to direct its movement away. However, there was all right there everything was fine/everything was all right.

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
2725

Hi Kjcoffin,
Thank you for your very useful comment!

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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
5415

Hi Oleks,

I am so glad it all went well and to plan! You must have been so relieved when you saw that the parachute had opened. Out of curiosity, did you have a camera or a phone with you so you could take photos and record the experience?

With regards to your English, Ros and Kjcoffin have both done a great job of evaluating it. I can't think of anything else that needs to be pointed out. I am looking forward to hearing more about your parachute jump and the (all-important) landing!

 

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
2725

Hi Ed,
Thank you! Unfortunately, I had a camera, but I did not take it with me, because I was afraid to break it.

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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert) Spanish (Beginner)
5998

Fabulous, Oleks! Keep it up!

Suddenly, I felt a jerk up, which returned me to normal made me alert [Is this what you meant?]. I heard a clap above me, looked up, [no comma]and saw a the white canopy of the parachute. With some degree of distrust, I realized that the parachute had opened. A quick inspection of my equipment showed nothing wrong. I relaxed and started to look around.

It was surprisingly quiet. There was no wind around me. I realized that it was as it should be so, as I flew was flying in wind flow at the same speed as the wind.

The plane was moving away. It was in front of and above me. Blacks dots separated from it the plane and became the domes of parachutes. From the opposite side, I saw a row of domes of those who jumped before under me. They were quite far away; the nearest one was at least a hundred meters aside (away).

We were taught to check that there were no parachutes nearby, above, [comma needed] and below, otherwise, there is a the danger of collision. If there is a parachute nearby, you need to control your parachute to direct its movement away. However, there everything was all right there.

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
2725

Hi Aliakbar,
Thank you! Yes, I meant that. This jerk returned my conscious back.

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