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kjcoffin's picture
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Thursday, August 22, 2019 - 21:49
Aliakbar Majidi's picture

Hi, Oleks. Another compelling series of texts by you! I...

Thursday, August 22, 2019 - 17:33

Jump 7

I want to tell you about one more thing that the instructors told us in preparation. Perhaps I am testing your patience, but I promise that this is the last deviation after which I will go directly to the jump. It is about what you need to do to be dragged along the ground by the wind as little as possible. Immediately after the fall, you should jump to your feet and run towards the canopy of the parachute. Devoid of counteraction, the parachute canopy will settle on the ground. It is like a kite: if you let go of the twine, the kite falls.
(to be continued)

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The learner's ability to pronounce words shared by the people of a particular country or region of the language they are learning.

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Fluency

The learner's ability to speak continuously by chunking and linking words together. For example, instead of saying very slowly, "I - am - poor. I - have - no - money" like a robot, a fluent speaker would say, "I'm poor because I don't have any money."

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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 50-90% accuracy.
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The pronunciation contained some individual word pronunciation errors. Around 3-4 errors
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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
5164

There is so little wrong with this - I have just made a couple of suggestions to make the text a little more natural but I'm very impressed! (The pronunciation was excellent too)!

I want to tell you about one more thing that the instructors told us in preparation. Perhaps I am testing your patience, but I promise that this is the last deviation, after which I will go directly to the jump. It is about what you need to do to be dragged along the ground by the wind as little as possible. Immediately after the fall, you should jump to your feet [or "get on your feet"] and run towards the canopy of the parachute. Devoid of counteraction [or "without the resistance"], the parachute canopy will settle on the ground. It is like a kite: if you let go of the twine, the kite falls will fall.  [I think the first conditional (using "will" is better than the zero conditional here but it is possible to use either].

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
2725

Hi Ros,
Thank you! I also think now that "will fall" sounds better.

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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert) Spanish (Beginner)
5998

Good job again, Oleks. Your writing skills have improved dramatically. You are making better sentences every time you post something new. Keep it up! Ros has already pointed out really useful corrections which you can work on to improve your English skills. I would like to expand on the conditional you have used in the text.

The zero conditional is used for when the time being referred to is now or always and the situation is real and possible. The zero conditional is often used to refer to general truths. 

The type 1 conditional is used to refer to the present or future where the situation is real. The type 1 conditional refers to a possible condition and its probable result. 

Based on these definitions, both conditional could be used in your text, as Ros has mentioned, however, I also prefer the type 1 conditional because although it is a general truth, you are talking about a specific situation.

Good luck!

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
2725

Hi Aliakbar,
Thank you for your very detailed explanation. Use of contitions rather complicated for me but now I understand more.

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kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
2240

I want to tell you about one more thing that the instructors told us in preparation. Perhaps I am testing your patience, but I promise that this is the last deviation after which I will go directly to the jump. It is about what you need to do to be dragged along the ground by the wind as little as possible. (can also say, "It is about ways to prevent being dragged on the ground as much as possible.) Immediately after the fall, you should jump to your feet and run towards the canopy of the parachute. Devoid of counteraction, the parachute canopy will settle on the ground. It is like a kite: if you let go of the twine, the kite falls. (Can also say, "It is like a kite in that if you let go of the twine, the kite falls."

Well written, one of your best in my opinion. Good job

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
2725

Hi Kjcoffin,
Thank you! Your options look very good. I didn't like my option "to be dragged along the ground by the wind as little as possible" myself, but I didn't know how to write better.

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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
5415

Hi Oleks,

That is yet another thing I have learnt about parachute jumping from listening and reading your posts. How fast do you need to run towards the canopy of the parachute when you land and get to your feet out of curiosity? Do you need to run as fast as you can? Or can you just gently jog towards it?

With regards to your post, the members above me have done another excellent job of evaluating your English skills. I am so impressed with all the progress you are making. It is becoming harder and harder for us to find things for you to work on! Congratulations yes

I would just like to add the following point.

  • I want to tell you about one more thing that the instructors told us in preparation In my opinion, you should refer to "preparation" as "training sessions", as you had to attend these sessions before doing the actual jump. It is a minor point though. "I want to tell you about one more thing that the instructors told us in our training sessions."
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
2725

Hi Edhutchins88!
Thank you! It is great to start understanding all the nuances of the language. About jump, running speed depends on wind speed. In my case the wind was weak, so jogging was enough.

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