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Monica Ferrari's picture
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Sunday, November 18, 2018 - 02:51

Whats Going on in Nicaragua? Part 1

Nicaragua is a little country in center America, from April to today, this country is changed to the a beautiful land, to a perfect nightmare for their citizens.

During the second week of April, the government, was made public a drastic reform in a retirement pay system, this action is made what a group of third-age men and women, inicing a protest against that reform, the answer of the government was the next, a group of joung people pro government, take the homework to give a lesson to the third-age people, the protestant was beated, kicking, a injuring in different ways.
In the same week a lot of university students, will raise up against the government and people who atack their grandmoms and grandpa, making a marches, walks and taking the university like a protest way, the national police it's atack with fire guns like shotgun, Ak~47, snipers and artesanal guns.
During this week, start a new black chapter in the nicaraguan history, in less of 7 days, between 8 and 15 young people loss him life, at least 25 person was injured and another 15 person was missing.

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Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

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edmundHutchings's picture
I learn : English (Beginner) French (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) German (Beginner)
783

Hello Marguev23,

It sounds terrible what is currently happening in your country. What was the reform the government made exactly that has caused this much chaos in Nicaragua? 

With regards to your English, I am impressed but you do need  to work on your grammar and punctuation.Here are some corrections:

1. Nicaragua is a little country in center America Nicaragua is a little country in Central America. ("Central" is an adjective and you are describing whereabouts Nicaragua is. Centre is a noun. For example, "The discovery has confirmed that the Earth's centre is indeed solid".

2. Nicaragua is a little country in center America, from April to today, this country is changed to the a beautiful land, to a perfect nightmare for their citizens. I would suggest making your sentences shorter. I know that sentences tend to be longer in Spanish, but in English people tend to prefer shorter sentences.

3.  third-age men and women Could you please explain what you mean here? I am a bit confused as I have never heard of the term "third age".

 

4. "this country is changed to the a beautiful land, to a perfect nightmare for their citizens" In English, something changes from something INTO something else. Also, as you are describing an action that began in the past, and continues in the present, you need to employ the use of the present perfect tense. "This country HAS changed from a beautiful land INTO a perfect nightmare for it's citizens.

 

5. the government, was made public a drastic reform in a retirement pay system.  When talking about changes governments make to our laws, we tend to say "the government passed a new law / bill / passed new legislation."

6. the protestant was beated Watch out for you spelling of the word "protesters". As you are talking about what happened to more than one protestor, you need to make this plural by saying "the protesters were beaten".

7. In the same week a lot of university students, will raise up against the government  In the same week a lot of university students will rise up against the government. Take a look at this article which explains the differences between raise and rise in English. https://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/cw-raise-rise.htm

8. grandmoms and grandpa As you are writing a formal text, it is best to stick to using formal language, so say "grandmothers and grandfathers / grandparents"

9. , ,  making a marches In English, we go on marches.

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Marguev23's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
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Thank you so mucho dude :)

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edmundHutchings's picture
I learn : English (Beginner) French (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) German (Beginner)
783

It was a pleasure to help you out.
 

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
2152

I made all my changes in your previous post so I have copied this below for reference rather than editing again.  As I said before, this is a very moving piece of writing.  This version is much improved but there are still some things to change:

Hi

This is a very moving account of brutality against old people and their supporters.  Thanks so much for sharing it with us.  It was clear what you wanted to say but, in order to get the meaning across, you had to use some quite complex language.  I have made changes in green but here are just a few points:

We can use the word “central” as an adjective.  When we talk about the land, use the impersonal form “its” citizens.

I have changed “third age” to “retirement age” because this is a more recognised term in English.

Use the plural form of “person” which is “people” and conjugate this with “were” not “was”. 

Just be careful of your punctuation.  Finished sentences need full-stops, not commas and the new sentences need capital letters.

Very well done though and I hope you post again soon!

Nicaragua is a little country in center central America, . f From April to today, this country is has changed to the from a beautiful land, to a perfect nightmare for their its citizens.

During the second week of April, the government, was made public a drastic reform in a the retirement pay system,.  t   This action is made what incited a group of third retirement age men and women, inicing a to protest against that this reform, .  the answer of the government was the next, a group of joung people pro government, take the homework to give a lesson to the third-age people, the protestant was beated, kicking, a injuring in different ways. This led a group of young pro-government people to attack these old people, beating and kicking them and causing multiple injuries.

In the same week a lot of university students, will raise up rose up against the government and the people who attacked their grandmoms and grandpasmaking a marches, walks and taking the university like a protest way, the national police it's atack with fire guns like shotgun, Ak~47, snipers and artesanal guns. 
The national police attacked the students with shotguns, Ak-47s, sniper and arsenal guns.

During this week, start a new black chapter in the nicaraguan history, in less of 7 days, between 8 and 15 young people loss him life, at least 25 person was injured and another 15 person was missing.  
During this week, a new black chapter began in Nicaraguan history. In less than 7 days, between 8 and 15 young people lost their lives, at least 25 people were injured and another 15 people were missing.

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