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bananap1's picture

Number 3: Idol group means in Japan and South korea a...

11 hours 8 min ago
edhutchins88's picture

Hi Banap,

I am also a member of Conversation...

12 hours 2 min ago
edhutchins88's picture

Hello Iman,

Wow! If only there were more people...

12 hours 28 min ago
bananap1's picture

Thank you for the correction! What I meant by "I digress...

14 hours 39 min ago
BeckyGreenBeans's picture

Hi,

This a great piece of writing, your level of...

15 hours 48 min ago

Nothing is difficult

I had done my bachelors degree in biomedical sciences at the biggest university in my country, it was 5 years of continuous studying and it was a really hard days .. sometimes I felt bad and I was thinking of giving up by changing this specialist with  another easier one, but then I tried to be more stronger.

After passing my first years with a disaster grades i was disappointed, however I stayed with myself and persuade myself to enjoy my lectures leaning with passion and stop thinking negatively, I really tried to change myself. At the beginning transferring my positive thinking to a real actions was really difficult for me because all lectures was bored and the quantity was above my sustain level, I hate memorizing medical information!!

Finally, I did it in my fourth year at college.. I work hard by loving what I learned. I looked to every lesson I studied there as something enjoyable that made my life going fun. The results was much better and l found my name in the honor list of my cohort, I felt proud of myself because when I wanna something I will never stop till I get it :) .

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Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

There are 3-4 grammatical errors
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Punctuation

The learner's ability to use certain marks to clarify meaning of their writing by grouping words grammatically into sentences and clauses and phrases.

There are 3-4 errors in capitalization and punctuation.
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There are 5 or more errors in capitalization and punctuation.
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Spelling

The learners' ability to form words with the correct letters in the correct order

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Style

The learner's ability to tailor the written work to fit the specific context, purpose, or audience

Mostly understandable. However, there are a few errors which cause confusion.
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Easy to understand. Writing flows and keeps reader engaged.
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Quite hard to understand.
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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Farsi (Expert)
1146

Hi Thuraya, nice memory! You are doing a great job. Keep it up! I read your text and made some modifications. Please take a look. I am also waiting for your new texts and stories.

 

I had done (Past perfect is used when you want to talk about an event happening before another in the past) have received my bachelors degree in biomedical sciences at from the biggest university in my country, it was 5 years of continuous studying (“study” also works) and it was a they were (days is plural) really hard days .. sometimes I felt bad and I was thinking of giving up by changing this specialist my major with to another easier one, but then I tried to be more (no need) stronger.

After passing my first years with a disaster (noun) disastrous grades, i (I, referring to oneself, should always be in capital) was disappointed, however, I stayed with myself (???) and persuade persuaded myself to enjoy my the lectures and leaning learn with passion and stop thinking negatively, I really tried to change myself. At the beginning, transferring my positive thinking to a real actions was really difficult for me because all lectures was bored were boring (the lectures are BORING, I am BORED) and the quantity was above my sustain level there were more classes than I could bear, I hate memorizing medical information!!

Finally, I did it in my fourth year at college.. I work worked hard by loving what I learned. I looked to at every lesson I studied there as something enjoyable that made my life going fun. The results was much better and l found my name in the honor list of my cohort, I felt proud of myself because when I wanna (“Wanna” is used instead of “want to” and is not appropriate for writing) want something I will never stop till I get it :) .

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Thuraya's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
30

Thank you. I really need your helping to improve my language, I'm new here please keep correcting my mistakes next days.

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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
2828

Hello Thuraya,

Welcome to Lingora!

I'm really impressed with your written English. Well done for completing such a demading, challenging University Degree! Your family and friends must be very proud of you. Biomedical Science is once of the most difficult subjects to study. What are you doing now? Are you working or completing further studies?

Aliakbar has done a very good job of pointing out the corrections you need to make.

Here are a few things I've noticed.

 

  • When you said "I stayed with myself" I know what you mean. However the correct was to say this would be "I persisted" or "I did not give up".
  • "transferring my positive thinking to a real actions " - you do not need the article "a" here, as you are not talking about a specific action, but numerous ones. "transferring my positive thinking to real actions".
  • "The results was much better and l found my name in the honor list of my cohort," As you are talking about more than one result, you need to refer to "results" in the plural. "The results were much better..."
  •  "I will never stop till I get it " Note that "till"is correct but it is informal, so if you are writing a formal email/letter etc, you should use the full word "until".

 

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Thuraya's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
30

Hello friend. Thank you for your comment it pleased me I appreciate that . Ok I get the mistakes.. please help me to improve my language next days. I'm waiting for job  and I'm working to improve myself and gaining new skills. I really want to be more confident in English speaking.

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sukipuki's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) Russian (Beginner)
15

Hi everyone, Wow what nice work. Do you think some of the sentances are to long?  

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BeckyGreenBeans's picture
I learn : Spanish (Beginner)
2506

Hi Thuraya,

Thanks for this.

- In this context, I would probably say use capitals for: Bachelors Degree in Biomedical Sciences. This is the main focus of your piece and it is the official title of your degree/course, so capital letters are fine to use

- it was 5 years of continuous studying and it was a really hard days .. sometimes I felt bad and I was thinking of giving up by changing this specialist with  another easier one, but then I tried to be more stronger.

- However, I remained determined, persuaded myself to enjoy my lectures and stopped thinking negatively. At the beginning, applying my positive thinking to taking real actions was really difficult for me because all the lectures were boring and the workload was challenging; I hate memorising medical information! - (Try not to use more than one exclamation mark)

- Finally, I did my fourth year at college. I worked hard and I aimed to enjoy every lesson that I studied there. This change in attitude made my life fun and the results that I got were much better than I had received previously.

- (I would start a new paragraph here) When I found my name in the honor list of my cohort, I felt proud of myself, because when I want something, I will never stop till I get it :).

Well done on getting your degree by the way!

Thanks,

Becky :)

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
2810

Hi there.   An interesting post.  Very inspiring.  I have made some changes to the sentences, tenses etc.  Well done and please post again!  Ros.

I had done [“did” or “completed” – you just need the past simple here] my bachelor’s degree in biomedical sciences at the biggest university in my country. [Use a full stop here as it has a main verb].  It was 5 years of continuous studying and it was a really hard days[You can’t say “it was a” and follow with the plural “hard days” so you can either say “a really hard time” or “they were “really hard days”] .. Sometimes I felt bad and I was thinking of giving up by changing this specialist [subject] with another easier one, but then I tried to be more stronger. [You only need “more” with multi-syllable words like “more beautiful]

After passing my first years with a disaster [disastrous – use the adjective form here] grades, i [I – the first person singular always needs a capital] was [very] disappointed, . However, [New sentence here] I stayed with [by] myself and persuade[d] [Use the past tense here] myself to enjoy my lectures, leaning [learn]with passion and stop thinking negatively, I really tried to change myself. [At the beginning I converted my positive thinking into real actions, which was really difficult for me because there were too many lectures for me to cope with and they were all really boring.  I hate memorising medical information!!  This sentence was a bit complicated so I’ve just re-written it.  We need to use the adjective form “boring”.  Something or someone is “boring” but you are “bored”]

Finally, I did it [turned things round] in my fourth year at college.. I work[ed] hard by loving what I learned. I looked to  [convinced myself that] every lesson I studied [was] something enjoyable that made my life going fun. The results was much better and l found my name in the honor [honours] list of my cohort – we  [for my group/class – we don’t really use “cohort” in the UK].  I felt proud of myself because [it proved that] when I wanna want something I will never stop till I get it :) 

 

 

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