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bananap1's picture

Number 3: Idol group means in Japan and South korea a...

10 hours 56 min ago
edhutchins88's picture

Hi Banap,

I am also a member of Conversation...

11 hours 50 min ago
edhutchins88's picture

Hello Iman,

Wow! If only there were more people...

12 hours 16 min ago
bananap1's picture

Thank you for the correction! What I meant by "I digress...

14 hours 28 min ago
BeckyGreenBeans's picture

Hi,

This a great piece of writing, your level of...

15 hours 36 min ago

“My way or the highway”.

“My way or the highway”.

This phrase was made famous by political leaders and the military. It is also heard by a lot of employees who work with autocratic leaders who in turn use it for forcing the employees to obey for rules and regulations.

With the revolutions and progressive ideas that have appeared lately, we still find a blind submission to authority inside many institutions. This application of authoritarianism administrative is found in the government departments more than the civil institutions. Thus, if you compare a person who works in any company and a person who works for the government like the military, you will find that there is a numerous difference between their personalities. People who work with governments intend to be autocratic more than the normal people.

This issue had mentioned in the journal of Harvard University. Where the writer had talked about the autocratic or authoritarian leaders who use many of authorization means on their employees, and thus how this treatment may affect the relations between the employees and subordinates. Abuse, arbitrary, threats, discord, etc. are some of the regimes used by the tyrants to make others respect him and obey his orders, especially inexperienced staff. He depends only on his opinion even in small decisions. People who want to complete by their own won’t accept a treatment that will demoralize their creativity. So, they prefer to be on the highway rather than accepting to be a slave for anyone.

The question is why we have to move toward the authoritarian regimes while we can use democracy to achieve what we want? Many people consider that being authoritarian leader has good aspects because it will make him stronger and he will not face problems of having employees not listen to him. Whereas some of the studies have approved that being a democracy with your employees will bring you more successful and comfortable relations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Farsi (Expert)
1146

Hi, Iman. Another great work by you! I agree with you, democracy is always the more successful solution, however, there are ways of manipulation in that, too. I made some modifications to your text. Please take a look. Remember you are on the way to better English, so keep posting text and audio and you will be better every time. Good luck!

 

“My way or the highway”.

This phrase was made famous by political leaders and the military. It is also heard by a lot of employees who work with autocratic leaders who in turn use it for forcing the employees to obey for the rules and regulations.

With Despite the revolutions and progressive ideas that have appeared lately, we still find a blind submission to authority inside many institutions. This The application of authoritarianism authoritarian (adjective) administrative administration (noun) is found in the government departments more than the civil institutions (Here you are talking about general entities, therefore, “the” is not needed.). Thus, if you compare a person who works in at any a company and with a person who works for the government organization like the military, you will find that there is a are numerous differences between their personalities. People who work with governments intend to be more autocratic more than the normal people.

This issue had was mentioned in the journal of Harvard University, where the writer had talked about the autocratic or authoritarian (adj used correctly) leaders who used many of authorization authoritative (adjective) means on their employees, and thus, how this treatment may affect the relations between the employees and subordinates. Abuse, arbit­rary arbitrariness (noun), threats, discord, etc. are some features of the regimes used by the tyrants to make others respect them him and obey his their orders, especially inexperienced staff. He They depends only on his thy tyrant’s opinion even in for small decisions. People who want to complete live by their own rules, won’t accept a treatment that will demoralize their creativity. So, they prefer to be on the highway rather than accepting to be a slave for anyone.

The question is why we have to move toward the authoritarian regimes while we can use democracy to achieve what we want? Many people consider that being an authoritarian leader has good aspects because it will make him them stronger and he they will not face problems of having employees not listening to him them, whereas some of the studies have approved that being a democracy democratic with your employees will bring you result in more successful and comfortable relations.

 

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
367

Many thanks Ali

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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
2828

Hi Iman,

That was another fantastic, informative and engaging text. I'm certainly happier and work better when I'm in a more democratic environment. I've come across (and worked for) many autocratic leaders who force their employees to do things (like you say) their way or the highway and they were a lot less happy and motivated.

Aliakbar has done another fantastic job of evaluating your text. Here are just a few additional points from me.

1.  a person who works for the government organization like the military, a person who works for a government organization like the military. [Use the article "a" as there are many different government organizations]

2. People who work with governments intend to be more autocratic - I would say you should use the word "tend" here, as you are getting the point across that people in government are more likely to be autocratic than people in private companies. People who work in government tend to be more autocratic]

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
367

Thanks a lot Edhutchins

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Karin Brauner's picture
I learn : French (Beginner)
1260

Hi Iman, a very good text. Here are my corrections.

It is also heard by a lot of employees - (I'd change it to) - It is also said to a lot of employees

who in turn use it for forcing - change "for forcing" to - "to force"

inside many institutions - in many institutions

autorirarianism administrative - authoritarian administration 

more than in civil institutions.

there is a numerous difference - there is a huge difference

People who work with governments intend to be autocratic more than the normal people. - people who work in government tend to be more autocratic than other people.

This issue had mentioned in the journal of Harvard University. - this issue was mentioned ...

Where the writer had talked about - when the writer talked

who use many of authorization means on their employees, - who use authoritarian methods with their employees

may affect the relations - may affect relations

 to make others respect him and obey his orders, - respect them and obey their orders

People who want to complete by their own won’t accept a treatment that will demoralize their creativity. - not sure what you mean by "who want to complete by their own", maybe succeed on their own?

Many people consider that being authoritarian leader - being an authoritarian leader

has good aspects - is good

Whereas some of the studies have approved that being a democracy with your employees - being democratic with your employees.

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
367

Thank you Karin

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
2810

Well done.  I always enjoy your writing.

Very little wrong with this but just a few points

I would say "administrative authoritarianism"

"Numerous" has to be plural so say "There are numerous differences"

"People who work in government tend to be more autocratic than normal people".  This is a general comment so don't use the definite article "the" here.  We don't need the indefinite article "a" because "people" is plural.

Use the reported speech form for "This issue was mentioned in the Harvard University journal"  and then we need to continue in the same sentence: "...where the writer [past simple] talked about ......."who use many means of authorisation on their employees and how (we don't really need "thus") this treatment may affect......

We need to change "tyrant" to the singular form to fit in with the rest of the sentence.

I agree with Alikbar and would change "People who want to complete..." to "People who want to live their own lives" or perhaps "follow their own path".  Use "accept treatment" rather than "accept a treatment" as in this sense, "treatment" is uncountable.

In your last sentence change "while" to "when" ...."when we can use democracy to achieve what we want".  We need the indefinite article "an" when we say "being an authoritarian leader" because we are using the general rather than the specific form.  Further on in the sentence say "because it will make the leader stronger and he will not face the problem of having employees not listening to him, whereas (still the same sentence) some of the studies have shown that being democratic with your employees...."

Keep posting!!

 

 

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
367

Thanks a bunch Ros,

 I am always waiting for your comments on my paragraph and it makes me so glad that you enjoy reading them.

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BeckyGreenBeans's picture
I learn : Spanish (Beginner)
2506

Hi,

Thanks for this, really interesting read!

If you want to make your texts even more descriptive, you could contextualise your writing.

For example, where you say 'political leaders' and 'revolutions and progressive ideas', you could say 'such as...' and give examples of these.

Thanks,

Becky :)

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