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bananap1's picture

Number 3: Idol group means in Japan and South korea a...

11 hours 20 min ago
edhutchins88's picture

Hi Banap,

I am also a member of Conversation...

12 hours 14 min ago
edhutchins88's picture

Hello Iman,

Wow! If only there were more people...

12 hours 40 min ago
bananap1's picture

Thank you for the correction! What I meant by "I digress...

14 hours 51 min ago
BeckyGreenBeans's picture

Hi,

This a great piece of writing, your level of...

16 hours 12 sec ago

My second translation attempt

This writing is a translation of one of the popular talk variety show's American cast member's write-up on his instagram page. He has lived in Korea for ten years and to my eyes his writing might not be impeccible as it contains some ungrammatical sentences but his lexical competence and sentence flow are native-level. He usually posts the English version and the Korean version of his text at the same time, but he did not post his new year celebration post's English version for some reason, so I decided to try my hand at translating the post as I want to be like him in English some day.

 

His Original Post: https://www.instagram.com/p/BsEp7Bonhkh

 

*

I booked a plane ticket some time ago to spend the Christmas holidays with my family in the United States.
I started to contemplate whether to spend the end and start of the years when booking the plane back to Korea.
This year I felt like coming back to Korea early for some reason. It is because of me feeling like wanting to start
2019 by seeing the sunrise.

In the United States, the New Year's Day is an exciting holiday period that you spend with your family or friends.
However, if you ask Americans about their end-year-new-year traditions, most of them will talk about December 31th.
(New Year's Eve) On December 31th most Americans go to parties waiting for the midnight with beating hearts to do
New Year's celebration champeign toasts. Then they watch the New Year's celebration countdown and performances
at Time Square in person or on TV.

My all memories about the New Year's holidays have to do with December 31th, not January 1st.
This is the reason my first new year in Korea came to me as interesting.
When I asked my friends about their new year welcoming tradition most of them said they are going to see the sunrise
in the Januray 1st morning instead of the bell-striking ceremony at the Jonggak Station (Belfry). Some people said
they are wating the sunrise with their family. What's more, some people said they ride a car and run the highway overnight
to watch the floating sunrise with their friends.

To me, expectations about this quiet beauty-imbued New Year's tradition have started to form.
Ameirca's New Year's Eve parties seem to be past-oriented. It feels like as it is the year's last day they are squeezing
out the year's leftover joy. Maybe parties like this on January 1st you might oversleep. Korea's New Year's sunrise watching
is quite the opposite. Future-oriented and full of hope. WIth courage and hope one welcomes one year early, with firey scarlet-
sunk faces like the rising sun and widly open eyes you welcome the new year.

I also want to welcome 2019 by watching the sunrise now. Instead of obsessing over the last moments of ending one year,
I want to start the new year by projecting hope and resolution on the new year's sun that rises and is covering Korea.

 

*

 

Please fix any errors or mistakes in the writing and have a nice lunar new year.

 

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Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

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John Fairbrother's picture
I learn : Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner)
37

Hey Banap,

You've done a great job at translating that guy's post. It's not surprising his writing is near-native level. If you live for 10 years in any country you are bound to become fluent in the language, providing you put the effort in of course.

I'll just point out a few corrections that you need to make to your text.

  • the New Year's Day  > it's not correct to write "the" New Year's Day
  • end-year-new-year > Year-end and New Year
  • December 31th. > December 31st.
  • waiting for the midnight  > you do not need to write "the" midnight.
  • to do New Year's celebration champeign toasts. > I would change this to something like "they open bottles of champagne to help toast in the New Year". Be careful when spelling champagne next time.
  • My all memories > All my memories
  • came to me as interesting. > it was interesting. You cannot say "came to me as interesting". You can "find something interesting" in English.
  • wating the sunrise with their family > waiting for the sunrise
  • they ride a car  > they go for a ride in their cars. In English, you cannot ride a car.
  • run the highway overnight > Not sure what you mean by "run the highway overnight"?
  • Ameirca's New Year's Eve parties seem to be past-oriented. > America's New Years' Eve parties seem to be focused on the past.
  • Future-oriented > It's not that future-oriented is gramatically wrong. It's just that it sounds better in my opinion to say "focused on the future"
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bananap1's picture
I learn : English (Advanced) Japanese (Beginner)
423

Thank you for fixing my post!

It seems my translation attempts need more work as people did not point out problems that you pointed out in the writings that I just wrote myself, but they seem to find more errors in my translations.

Some of the problems that you pointed out seem to be stem from the problem that I translated sentences almost word-for-word instead of paraphrasing them. What I mean by "run the highway overnight" is to drive on the highway, use the highway to get to somewhere during the night. Does that make any sense to you? I am pretty comfortable using English nowadays but there are still moments that I have to stop and think about what I want to say still.

Again, I'll study the points that you rightly pointed out and be back with posts of improved quality!

P.S. I wonder if you could fix errors in the comment that I have just written above, it would be amazing.

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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Farsi (Expert)
1146

Hi Bonanap. Fabulous job! I loved both the text and the translation. I strongly agree with his point of view and how he thinks about the two different ways of thinking about the same celebration. I think you have transferred the meaning quite well. I read your text and rewrote it using recommendations from John and my own thoughts. Please take a look.

 

My Second Translation Attempt

This writing is a translation of an Instagram post caption from one of the presenters of an American popular talk show. He has lived in Korea for ten years and in my opinion, his writing might not be impeccable as it contains some ungrammatical sentences but his lexical competence and sentence flow at a native-level. He usually posts the English version and the Korean version of his text at the same time, but he did not post the English translation of the post for some reason, so I decided to try my skills by translating the post as I want to as good as he is in English someday.

 

The Original Post: https://www.instagram.com/p/BsEp7Bonhkh

 

*

I booked a plane ticket some time ago to spend the Christmas holidays with my family in the United States.
I started to contemplate whether to spend the year-end and new year when booking the plane back to Korea.
This year I felt like going back to Korea early for some reason. It was so because I was feeling like I wanted to start
2019 seeing the sunrise.

In the United States, New Year's Day is an exciting holiday period that you spend with your family or friends.
However, if you ask Americans about their year-end and new year traditions, most of them will talk about December 31st. (New Year's Eve) On December 31tst, most Americans go to parties waiting for midnight with beating hearts they open bottles of champagne to help toast in the New Year. Then they watch the New Year's celebration countdown and performances at Time Square in person or on TV.

All my memories about New Year's holidays have to do with December 31st, not January 1st.
This is the reason why my first new year in Korea was interesting to me.
When I asked my friends about their new year welcoming tradition most of them said they were going to see the sunrise in the morning of January 1st instead of the bell-striking ceremony at Jonggak Station (Belfry). Some people said they would watch the sunrise with their family. What's more, some people said they went for a ride on the highway overnight to watch the floating sunrise with their friends.

To me, expectations about this quiet beauty-imbued New Year's tradition have already started to form.
American New Year's Eve parties seem to be focusing more on the past. It feels like as it is the year's last day, they are squeezing out the year's leftover joy. Maybe, having been to parties like this on January 1st, you might oversleep the day after. Korea's New Year's sunrise watching is quite the opposite: Focused on the future and full of hope. With courage and hope, one welcomes yet another year, with fiery scarlet-sunk faces like the rising sun and widely open eyes you welcome the new year.

I also want to welcome 2019 by watching the sunrise now. Instead of being obsessed with the last moments of the year end, I want to start the new year by projecting hope and resolution on the new year's sun that rises and covers Korea.

 

*

 

Please fix any errors or mistakes in the writing and have a nice lunar new year.

 

 

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bananap1's picture
I learn : English (Advanced) Japanese (Beginner)
423

Do you have any recommendations for reviewing the corrected entry like the one you wrote above? I have been adding the mistakes I have made in my SRS and reviewing them, however, I have no clue as to how to review this big chunk of sentences.

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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Farsi (Expert)
1146

I think you could benefit a lot from comparing the two texts. Open the two texts simultaneously and compare and contract them in order to find out what English structures you need to learn, and in case you have any questions, you can ask them here.

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bananap1's picture
I learn : English (Advanced) Japanese (Beginner)
423

Thank you!

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
2810

A very accomplished translation - well done.  Between your lack of errors and my fellow editors' comments, I have little left to say.  There was just one sentence I thought I'd comment on though......

" It is because of me feeling like wanting to start 2019 by seeing the sunrise."

Because you finish the last sentence with "for some reason" this would suggest that you didn't know for sure why you came back to Korea early.  Because of this uncertainty, I would put a dash and continue the sentence like this: " - possibly because...."  and then I would change the words to say "possibly because I felt like starting 2019 by seeing the sunrise."  We either "feel like" doing something (using the gerund - eg "I felt like starting...."  "I felt like sleeping all afternoon") or "want" to do something (using the infinitive - eg "because I wanted to start 2019 by seeing the sunrise").  It's not necessary to use both - "It is because of me feeling like wanting to.

Keep posting - your work is a joy to read!!

Ros

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eidoloy's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
125

Comments inline. You did very well, but there are still some errors that make it seem non-native.

--

I booked a plane ticket some time ago to spend the Christmas holidays with my family in the United States.

I started to contemplate whether to spend the end and start of the years when booking the plane back to Korea.

This year I felt like coming back to Korea early for some reason. It is because of me feeling like wanting to start

2019 by seeing the sunrise.

(^^This paragraph is written wonderfully - no errors to be found in my sight!)

In the United States, the New Year's Day is an exciting holiday period that you spend with your family or friends.

However, if you ask Americans about their year-end traditions, most of them will talk about December 31st.

(New Year's Eve) On December 31st most Americans go to parties waiting for the midnight with racing hearts to do

New Year's celebration champagne toasts. Then they watch the New Year's celebration countdown and performances

at Time's Square in person or on TV.

(^^Pretty good here, just some awkward wording. If they didn't have beating hearts, they'd be zombies or ghosts, right? ;])

All of my memories about the New Year's holidays have to do with December 31st, not January 1st.

This is the reason my first new year in Korea struck me as interesting.

When I asked my friends about their new year welcoming tradition most of them said they were going to see the sunrise

on the morning of January 1st instead of the bell-striking ceremony at the Jonggak Station (Belfry). Some people said

they were going to wait to see the sunrise with their family. What's more, some people said they ride in a car and drive on the highway overnight

to watch the fresh sunrise with their friends.

(^^This paragraph had more awkward wording. I changed "floating" to "fresh" because to me, sunrises don't float and I've never seen them described that way. What was the original Korean word and how is it defined? What's the nuance?)

For me, expectations about this quiet beauty-imbued New Year's tradition have started to form.

America's New Year's Eve parties seem to be past-oriented. It feels like as it is the year's last day they are squeezing

out the year's leftover joy. Maybe with parties like this on January 1st you might oversleep. Korea's New Year's sunrise watching

is quite the opposite. Future-oriented and full of hope. With courage and hope one welcomes one year early, with firey scarlet-

sunk faces like the rising sun and widly open eyes you welcome the new year.

(^^What's a "scarlet-sunk face"? You also don't need to put "welcome" twice with the structure of the sentence.)

I also want to welcome 2019 by watching the sunrise now. Instead of obsessing over the last moments of the year past,

I want to start the new year by projecting hope and resolution on the new year's sun that is rising over and covering Korea.

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bananap1's picture
I learn : English (Advanced) Japanese (Beginner)
423

Thanks for the correction!

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bananap1's picture
I learn : English (Advanced) Japanese (Beginner)
423

As for the "floating" part, normally I would have translated that word into "rising," but as I had already used the word "sunrise," I did not want to use rise twice, hence just directly translated that word into the closest word to rising, floating.
Scarlet-sunk in my writing is a direct translation of the phrase "주홍빛에 잠긴" which means sunk in a scarlet colour. It's poetic language and I did not know how to translate it. Maybe I should have avoided translating directly as most of the errors that I made in this writing seem to stem from the problem. Maybe I'll try translating his other posts or some other things. Then I might try paraphrasing a little.

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