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Dairy -My First Year at University

My First Year at University 

I finished my first year at university , it was a fantastic year ,and  I've learned a lot things about like how to deal with subjects , teachers , marks, and transportation. Oh God  transportation was the most difficult thing at the beginning because I have to come back home by myself . Now I don't have any difficulties with transportation because I'm used to it  ,everything is becoming easier to me . Now I have lot of friends they're good girls ,friendly,  hard working ,and have a dreams .Oh  I forget to tell you guys about my university , it consist of three buildings only because it's very old , it's for girls only , and have lot of  excellent teachers, it's located in a very magnificent place near the services  . If you ask me: in which season do you like ? my answer is in winter .

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CategoryAdequate to goodGood to ExcellentNeeds work
Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

There are 3-4 grammatical errors
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Punctuation

The learner's ability to use certain marks to clarify meaning of their writing by grouping words grammatically into sentences and clauses and phrases.

There are 3-4 errors in capitalization and punctuation.
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Spelling

The learners' ability to form words with the correct letters in the correct order

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Style

The learner's ability to tailor the written work to fit the specific context, purpose, or audience

Mostly understandable. However, there are a few errors which cause confusion.
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Easy to understand. Writing flows and keeps reader engaged.
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Quite hard to understand.
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kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
3190

I finished my first year of college/at the university. It was a fantastic year (no comma) and  I've learned a lot of things about like such as how to deal with subjects , teachers , marks (no comma) and transportation. Oh God! Transportation was the most difficult thing at the beginning because I have to come back home by myself . Now I don't have any difficulties with transportation because I'm used to it, everything is becoming easier to me. Now I have a lot of friends they're that are good girls, friendly,  hard working (no comma) and have a dreams. Oh,  I forget to tell you guys about my university. It only consist of three buildings only because it's very old. It's for girls only , and have lot of  excellent teachers, it's located in a very magnificent place near the services It's a women's only school with a lot of excellent teachers and is located in a very magnificient place near the services. If you ask me: in which season do you like ? my answer is in winter . If you ask me which season do I like, my answer is/would be the winter.

Nice job. Your sentences can be broken up into shorter parts with periods instead of commas

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5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
6725

Hi Tatyana,

Great to hear that you had such an enjoyable year at university. What subject did you study? Did you find the exams and assessments difficult?

With regards to your written English, Kjcoffin has done a good job of evaluating it. I would just like to add the following points..

  • Transportation was the most difficult thing at the beginning because I have to come back home by myself - Transportation was the most difficult thing at the beginning because I had to come back home by myself. (You need to use the past perfect tense when talking about actions completed (finished or "perfected") at some point in the past before something else happened)
  • becoming easier to me - becoming easier for me
  • It only consist of three buildings- It only consists of three buildings
  • very magnificent place - magnificent  place (no need to use the word "very" before this adjective)
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5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
tatyana's picture
I learn : English (Beginner)
330

Hi Edhutchines

I'm studying English language and literature .

About exams and assessments no I did'nt find it  very difficult  because I only need to pay attention to  the teachers and take good notes while they are explaning things .

thanks alot for the notes smiley.

 

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
6068

Hi Tatyana

You have a very engaging, natural style of writing and I really enjoyed your post.  Just be careful with your punctuation.  You don't need a comma when you are using a conjunction like 'and'.  You need a full stop, not a comma, if a clause contains a main verb because this 'clause' is a sentence.  Every time you use a full stop you need to start the next sentence with a capital letter.  Good luck with your university course.  I'm sure you'll do well.  It sounds as if you are really loving the experience!

I finished my first year at university , it It was a fantastic year ,and  I've learned a lot things about / like [You can use 'about' or 'like' here but not both!] how to deal with subjects, teachers, marks, and transportation. Oh God - transportation was the most difficult thing at the beginning because I have had to ['had to' is a modal verb of necessity.  You need to use it in the past because you are talking about something you 'had to' do in the past] come back home by myself . Now I don't have any difficulties with transportation because I'm used to it.  ,e Everything is becoming easier to for me . Now I have lot of friends. t They're good girls, friendly, hard working ,and they have a dreams .Oh,  I forget to tell you guys about my university , i It consists of only three buildings only because it's very old , .  i It's for girls only , and have has a lot of  excellent teachers, .  i It's located in a very magnificent place, near the services  . If you ask me: in which season I do you like ? my answer is in winter .

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tatyana's picture
I learn : English (Beginner)
330

Hi Rose 

 so happy to hear that blushsmiley .I love the experience .

Thanks a lot  for the notes 

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