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Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! Thank you! "The wind was increasing" - I think...

1 hour 42 min ago
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Kealin! This text was difficult for me...

1 hour 45 min ago
Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! Thank you for your comment and link! "The girl...

1 hour 50 min ago
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Kealin, for your comment and advise! I will...

1 hour 52 min ago
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Ros! Your comments always motivate me for...

1 hour 57 min ago

Desert 42

After this repeated and very urgent exhortation, we began to work. I and Ilak were in the trench. I dug the ground with a spade, and in some difficult places with a pickaxe. Ilak scooped it up with a shovel and filled pails. Ropes were tied to these pails and Ghom, who was at the top, lifted them after filling and poured earth into large buckets standing near the wall of the rampart. These buckets were descended from the top of the rampart with winches. After filling, these buckets went up, where they emptied and returned to us. Since the trench was not far from the wall, another man with a wheelbarrow was not needed.

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Pronunciation: 
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Intonation: 
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CategoryAdequate to goodGood to ExcellentNeeds work
Accent

The learner's ability to pronounce words shared by the people of a particular country or region of the language they are learning.

Good effort at accent. Quite close to that of a native speaker
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Excellent effort at accent. Extremely close to that of a native speaker.
People thought this
2
Limited effort at accent. Definitely a non-native speaker
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Fluency

The learner's ability to speak continuously by chunking and linking words together. For example, instead of saying very slowly, "I - am - poor. I - have - no - money" like a robot, a fluent speaker would say, "I'm poor because I don't have any money."

Speech is relatively smooth; some hesitation and unevenness caused by rephrasing and searching for words
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Smooth and fluid speech; few to no hesitations; no attempts to search for words; volume is excellent
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2
Speech is frequently hesitant with some sentences left uncompleted
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Intonation

The learner's ability to understand the relative emphasis that may be given to certain syllables in a word, or to certain words in a phrase or sentence

Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 50-90% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 90-100% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with < 50% accuracy
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Pronunciation

The learners' ability to enunciate the various consonants, consonant blends, vowels, and vowel blends in words, words linked together, and words in sentences.

The pronunciation contained some individual word pronunciation errors. Around 3-4 errors
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The pronunciation is exceptional and mirrors a native speaker. Shows a clear understanding of word stress and intonation. Only 0-2 errors
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The pronunciation is inconsistent and made it difficult to understand. 5 or more errors
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kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
3190

After this he repeated and his/the very urgent exhortation, we began to work. I and Ilak Ilak and I (when talking about 2 people including youself, always use the word "I" after the "and". Example: My wife and I went to the store yesterday. James and I like to play basketball during the summer.) were in the trench. I dug the ground with a spade, and in some difficult places with a pickaxe. Ilak scooped it up with a shovel and filled pails. Ropes were tied to these pails and Ghom, who was at the top, lifted them after filling and poured earth into large buckets standing near the wall of the rampart. These buckets were descended/lowered from the top of the rampart with winches. After filling them, these the buckets went up (no comma) where they emptied and returned to us. Since the trench was not far from the wall, another man with a wheelbarrow was not needed.

Nice job

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
4709

Hi Kealin! Thank you for your comment and very useful corrections!

0
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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
6725

Hi Oleks,

It appears the settlers work very well together. I am just wondering how often they need to stop for a break. Just reading about this hard, physical labour they have to do on a daily basis is making me tired haha!

With regards to your English, KJcoffin has done a good job of evaluating it.

I would just like to add a couple of points:

  • and Ghom, who was at the top, lifted them after filling  - and Ghom, who was at the top, lifted them up once the pails were full / at full capacity. [the phrase "after filling" is not very clear, in my opinion]
  • these buckets went up, where they emptied and returned to us. - the buckets were pulled up, where they were [you are describing an action that happened in the past, so you need to use the past passive voice]  emptied and returned to us.
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
4709

Hi Ed! Thank you! You added a couple of very useful corrections for me!

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
6068

Excellent Oleks and nearly perfect!  Well done!

After this repeated and very urgent exhortation, we began to work. I and Ilak [It's better to say "Ilak and I"]were in the trench. I dug the ground with a spade, and in some difficult places, with a pickaxe. Ilak scooped it up with a shovel and filled pails. Ropes were tied to these pails and Ghom, who was at the top, lifted them after filling and poured earth into large buckets standing near the wall of the rampart. These buckets were descended lowered from the top of the rampart with winches. Afte r filling, these buckets went up, where they were emptied and returned to us. Since the trench was not far from the wall, another man with a wheelbarrow was not needed.

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
4709

Thank you, Ros! I am pleased that you liked this fragment.

0
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