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edhutchins88's picture

Hi Oleks,

I loved the word "mongrel" to describe...

Thursday, December 5, 2019 - 21:41
edhutchins88's picture

Hi Oleks,

I cannot understand why on earth Ilak...

Thursday, December 5, 2019 - 21:29
edhutchins88's picture

Hi Oleks

Ilak was incredibly lucky then!!!

...
Thursday, December 5, 2019 - 21:16
kjcoffin's picture

...

Thursday, December 5, 2019 - 21:11
kjcoffin's picture

...

Thursday, December 5, 2019 - 21:08

Desert 98

I looked back and saw that Ilak was alive and even conscious. While we were fighting, he tried to lie comfortably, and was pale and covered in blood, pressing a bloodied rag to his shoulder. Our examination showed that his vital organs and bones were apparently not affected. Javelin got under the collarbone and stuck in the muscles just above the lung. Ligaments, too, fortunately, turned out to be intact.

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CategoryAdequate to goodGood to ExcellentNeeds work
Accent

The learner's ability to pronounce words shared by the people of a particular country or region of the language they are learning.

Good effort at accent. Quite close to that of a native speaker
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Excellent effort at accent. Extremely close to that of a native speaker.
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Limited effort at accent. Definitely a non-native speaker
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Fluency

The learner's ability to speak continuously by chunking and linking words together. For example, instead of saying very slowly, "I - am - poor. I - have - no - money" like a robot, a fluent speaker would say, "I'm poor because I don't have any money."

Speech is relatively smooth; some hesitation and unevenness caused by rephrasing and searching for words
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Smooth and fluid speech; few to no hesitations; no attempts to search for words; volume is excellent
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Speech is frequently hesitant with some sentences left uncompleted
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Intonation

The learner's ability to understand the relative emphasis that may be given to certain syllables in a word, or to certain words in a phrase or sentence

Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 50-90% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with 90-100% accuracy.
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Able to identify and produce correct intonation, word stress and rhythm patterns with < 50% accuracy
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Pronunciation

The learners' ability to enunciate the various consonants, consonant blends, vowels, and vowel blends in words, words linked together, and words in sentences.

The pronunciation contained some individual word pronunciation errors. Around 3-4 errors
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The pronunciation is exceptional and mirrors a native speaker. Shows a clear understanding of word stress and intonation. Only 0-2 errors
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The pronunciation is inconsistent and made it difficult to understand. 5 or more errors
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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert) Spanish (Beginner)
7523

Good job, Oleks! Your story is getting pretty bloody!

I looked back and saw that Ilak was alive and even conscious. While we were fighting, he tried to lie comfortably, and. He was pale and covered in blood, pressing a bloodied rag to against his shoulder. Our examination showed that his vital organs and bones were apparently not affected. The javelin had got under the collarbone and stuck in the muscles just above the lung. Ligaments, too, fortunately, turned out to be intact. (Also, ‘Fortunately, his ligaments turned out to be intact, too.’)

 

Also:

Muscle -> /ˈmʌsəl/ | https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/muscle

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
6543

Hi Ali! Thank you for your comment and link! I am glad that I am improving.

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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert) Spanish (Beginner)
7523

This is how to pronounce muscle.

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
6543

Thank you for your audio!

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kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
3645

I looked back and saw that Ilak was alive and even conscious. While we were fighting, he tried to lie comfortably, and was while pale and covered in blood and pressing a bloodied rag to his shoulder. Our examination showed that his vital organs and bones were apparently not affected. Javelin got under the collarbone and stuck in the muscles just above the lung. Ligaments, too, fortunately, turned out to be intact. Fortunately, his ligaments turned out to be intact too.

Nice job. Minor tweaks that can improve the style of your writing, but overall good job

5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Oleks's picture
Oleks :
I learn : English (Beginner)
6543

Hi Kealin!n Thank you! I am very grateful to you and your friends for improving my style.

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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
7731

Hi Oleks

Ilak was incredibly lucky then!!!

Out of curiosity what kind of painkillers did you give him? He must have been in agony sad

Another brilliant extract which I thoroughly enjoyed!

Here are a couple of my observations

  • comfortably - I feel you could do with working on your pronunciation of this word. Listen to me saying it a few times. 
    [ kuhmf-tuh-buh li]
    • Javelin got under the collarbone - The javelin had got under his collarbone (it makes sense to use the pronoun "is" as we are talking about Ilak)
    • and stuck in the muscles just above the lung - and was stuck in the muscles just above his lungs (same here)
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