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I have just written a small text, somedody tell me my...

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Thank you for taking the time to fix my writing. There...

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Hi!  I love your writing style and there are very few...

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Hola Cris

¿Cómo estás? es un placer poderle...

Thursday, September 20, 2018 - 00:28

Modern music

Nowadays, music has change if it compared 70's or 80's, speacily if we talk about rock. I'm a big fan of progressive rock, but it's  a long time since any band released an album, the last band that released an album that I know is Guns'n Roses. The current musical scene tends to be focused in musics with easy lyrics and little-worked melodies. My point is, I prefer the old rock albums because, in somehow, they make me think about live, they brings me reflections. Nowadays it's difficult to found good music, maybe because there is a lot of information in our screen and we don't have time to check all of this.

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Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

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Punctuation

The learner's ability to use certain marks to clarify meaning of their writing by grouping words grammatically into sentences and clauses and phrases.

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Spelling

The learners' ability to form words with the correct letters in the correct order

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Style

The learner's ability to tailor the written work to fit the specific context, purpose, or audience

Mostly understandable. However, there are a few errors which cause confusion.
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Easy to understand. Writing flows and keeps reader engaged.
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edmundHutchings's picture
I learn : English (Beginner) French (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) German (Beginner)
673

Hello Eder,

That was a great effort. Very well done! You write very well in English. There's really not much for me to correct you on. 

Like you I also much prefer to listen to music made in the 70's and 80's and am not a fan of modern music. 

please see some corrections / things you need to work on below:

  • music has change if it compared 70's or 80's, music has changed when compared to the 70's or 80's. Remember to use the present perfect when  talking about an action has taken place once or many times before now.
  • speacily watch your spelling of this word. The correct way to write it is specially.
  • a long time since any band released an album, it's a long time since any band has released an album. Again, in situations like these where you're talking about actions which have taken place once or more times before now, you should use the present perfect. Take a look here for more information about it: https://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/en/english-grammar/present-perfect
  • tends to be focused in musics  tends to be focused on songs. The correct preposition is "on", you focus "on" something. And we say "songs" not "musics".
  •  in somehow You don't need the preposition "in" here, as somehow is an adverb.
  • they make me think about live they make me think about life. Watch your spelling of "life" which means "vida" in Portuguese and "live" which means "viver".
  • they brings me reflections they help me to reflect. It does not sound natural to say "they bring me reflections" in English.
  •  Nowadays it's difficult to found good music Nowadays it's difficult to find good music. As you're talking about an action in the present, you use the present form of the verb and not the past participle.
  • there is a lot of information in our screen there is a lot of information on our screens.

 

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Ederlopes01's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
75

Thank you so much, I will pay more attention to not to do these mistakes again.

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Karin Brauner's picture
I learn : French (Beginner)
1084

Hi Eder,

Good attempt!

There is a bit of grammar to work on - missing helping verbs ("been") and verb tenses. A bit of grammar structure too.

I will correct your text below so you can compare to your original one and send another one in for correction. I will highlight the changes I make.

_______________________________________________

At present/now/recently,music has changed if we compare it to music from the 70's or 80's, especially if we are talking about rock. I'm a big fan of progressive rock, but it's been a long time since any band has released an album. The last band that released an album, that I know of, is Guns'n Roses. The current musical scene tends to be focused on musics with easy lyrics and little-worked melodies. My point is, I prefer the old rock albums because, in somehow, they make me think about life, they get me to reflect. Nowadays it's difficult to find good music, maybe because there is a lot of information on our screens and we don't have time to look at/review all of this.

Hope this helps!

Karin

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Ederlopes01's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
75

Thank you for the corrections, it'll be very helpful!!

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
1601

Well done - you write well and your subject is very interesting.  You make some valid points.  Here are just a few adjustments but well done!  Keep writing!

Nowadays, music has changed [we don’t need “if it” here] compared to the 70s or 80s, especially if we talk about rock. I'm a big fan of progressive rock, but it's a long time since any band released an album. The last band I know that released an album is Guns'n Roses. [It’s better to put “The last band I know”]. The current musical scene tends to be focused on [Use the preposition “on” rather than “in” here] music [Music is uncountable so not plural] with easy lyrics and little-worked melodies.  My point is, I prefer the old rock albums because, somehow, they make me think about life [not live]; they make me reflect. Nowadays it's difficult to find [We use the infinitive “to find” here] good music, maybe because there is a lot of information on our screen and we don't have time to check everything.

 

 

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BeckyGreenBeans's picture
I learn : Spanish (Beginner)
951

Hi Ederlopes01,

Your punctuation and spelling is near on accurate here, so well done. 

I just wanted to outline a couple of different ways that you could have opened the article as there is a risk of confusion with tense in your version. You have introduced the article by saying 'Nowadays', which is a present tense adverb. You then going into using past tense 'music has changed'. The general rule in English is that you should stick with the same tense within a sentence.

For example:

  • 'Nowadays, music is changing' - Here, Nowadays and is changing are staying in the present tense

or

  • 'Looking back at the music of different eras, it has changed' - Here, I open the sentence by referring to the past rather than the present, so it makes more sense

Later on in the extract, when you say 'Nowadays, it's difficult to found (should be find as the present tense verb) good music', you're using the present tense throughout the sentence so you've used it correctly here. I would have probably just added a comma after 'Nowadays' to help with the flow of the sentence.

Thanks, Becky :)

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