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Monica Ferrari's picture
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Sunday, November 18, 2018 - 02:51

After watching American Crime Stroy season 2

I finished watching American Crime Story season 2.

Season 1 took place mostly in the trial. So I thought season 2 would do the same but it didn't.

It was about a murderer who killed several people including Gianni Versace who was a famous fashion designer.

That was why its co-title was 'The Assassination of Gianni Versace'.

I knew Versace is a clothes brand. But I didn't know the creator was murdered.

It is such a shame that we lost this talented person and other victims too.

The story began like from the end of the story. It reminded me of one of Nolan's movies.

But I was more impressed by their acting than the story itself, especially the murderer.

Later I found out the actor who played as the murderer is actually working as a singer more than as an actor.

From I remember, his previous acting career was only one, the TV show 'Glee'.

I hope to see him more from other movies and TV shows.

Also I was glad that I could see other familiar faces in the show.

They played so well that all of them were like they were real.

I heard that other series of American Crime Story will be made. I hope to see them soon.

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Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

There are 3-4 grammatical errors
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Punctuation

The learner's ability to use certain marks to clarify meaning of their writing by grouping words grammatically into sentences and clauses and phrases.

There are 3-4 errors in capitalization and punctuation.
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Spelling

The learners' ability to form words with the correct letters in the correct order

There are 3-4 spelling errors
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Style

The learner's ability to tailor the written work to fit the specific context, purpose, or audience

Mostly understandable. However, there are a few errors which cause confusion.
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Easy to understand. Writing flows and keeps reader engaged.
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edmundHutchings's picture
I learn : English (Beginner) French (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) German (Beginner)
783

Hello - again great effort. I'm tempted to watch American Crime Story now after reading your summary of it. I love these kinds of shows.

With regards to your English, only a few minor corrections are necessary:

 

1. Season 1 took place mostly in the trial Season 1 took place mostly during the trial. [As a trial is an ongoing process, it is best to use a word like "during". ]

2. The story began like from the end of the story. This sentence does not make sense. Could you tell me what you are trying to explain here?

3. the actor who played as the murderer the actor who played the murderer. [You do not need the word "as" when you refer to actors who play certain characters]

4. From I remember From what I remember

5. his previous acting career was only one, the TV show 'Glee'. He only ever starred in the TV show 'Glee'. [Starring means being the main character in a movie or play.]

6. I hope to see him more from other movies and TV shows. I hope to see him more / I hope to see more of him in other movies and TV shows

7. They played so well  they acted so well / the actors were so good that

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OnTheEarth's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
250

Thank you again, Edmund. And for the second sentence, I was trying to say It took place 'End' -> 'Middle -> 'Start'. When we see a movie we see 'start' -> 'middle' -> 'end'. It wasn't in chronological order. I hope this makes sense.

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Colleenanderson's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
40

Great job.  I only noticed two errors.  1.  From what I remember.....  2.  I hope to see him more in other movies and TV shows.   Otherwise, well done!

 

 

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OnTheEarth's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
250

Thank you!!!!

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BeckyGreenBeans's picture
I learn : Spanish (Beginner)
2031

Hi! Fantastic work! Spelling and punctuation is great! I think that if you work on your understanding of prepositions within sentences, your English skills will improve even more.

In addition to the changes outlined above, here are some of mine:

  • 'In most of the season 1 episodes, a trial is taking place, so I thought trials would also be taking place throughout season 2, but they were not'. - If we talk about something 'taking place in' something, we are normally referring to a location, time of year or event. e.g.: 'The event took place in the garden' or 'The event took place in 1947.' It doesn't make sense to say that the season 1 took place 'in' the trial, as this implies that season 1 is enclosed by the trial. Instead, it is correct to say that the trial takes places 'in' the episodes.
  • It was about a murderer who killed several people, including Gianni Versace, who was a famous fashion designer. - Added in some commas here to help with the flow of the sentence
  • 'I knew Versace was a clothes brand, but I didn't know the designer was murdered'. - Be careful not to get your tenses mixed up; either stick with the past tense by saying 'knew' and 'was', or change it to present by saying 'know' and 'is;.
  • 'But I was more impressed by their acting than the story itself, especially the person who played murderer'. - Just ensure the reader knows that you're referring to the programme rather than real-life events.

Thanks, Becky :)

 

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OnTheEarth's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
250

Prepositions are always difficult for me. I'll study English harder. Thank you, Becky.

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
2152

Well done!  This was really excellent.  You got across what you meant really well!  Just a few little tweaks which I hope will help.  Keep writing.  I really enjoy your posts.  Ros

 

I  have finished watching American Crime Story season 2. [Use the present perfect here - to show an action which happened in the past but is relevant now]

Season 1 took place mostly in the trial. So I thought season 2 would do the same but it didn't.

It was about a murderer who killed several people, including Gianni Versace, who was a famous fashion designer. [Use commas to break up this rather long sentence]

That was why its co-title was 'The Assassination of Gianni Versace'.

I knew Versace is was a clothes brand. But I didn't know the creator was murdered.

It is such a shame that we lost this talented person and other victims too.

The story episode began like from with what happened at the end of the story. [I think this is what you mean!]It reminded me of one of Nolan's movies.

But I was more impressed by their acting than the story itself, especially the murderer.

Later I found out the actor who played as the murderer is actually currently working as a singer more than as an actor. [If you put in the word "currently" it's clear that you are talking about what the actor is doing now or when he's not in this particular drama]

From what I remember, his previous acting career was consisted of only one role - in the TV show 'Glee'.

I hope to see him more from in other movies and TV shows.

Also I was glad that I could to see other familiar faces in the show. [Saying "I was glad to see" is more natural than "glad that I could see"]

They all played so well [or convincingly] that all of them were like they they seemed as if they were real.

I heard that other series of American Crime Story will be made. I hope to see them soon.

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OnTheEarth's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
250

Thank you for your compliment and correction, Ros :D

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