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HortenseMaldonado's picture

Content of the vacations is filled on top of the items...

Monday, April 22, 2019 - 21:00
Ros Watson's picture

A very well written piece about the recent tragic fire...

Sunday, April 21, 2019 - 16:21
Ros Watson's picture

Really inspirational piece!  I totally agree with what...

Sunday, April 21, 2019 - 16:01
Ros Watson's picture

Hi Iman. This is fun!  Just a few tweaks in an otherwise...

Sunday, April 21, 2019 - 15:32
Ros Watson's picture

Hi again Bananap!  How are you?  and Happy Easter. ...

Sunday, April 21, 2019 - 15:06

GO FOR IT

 

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward”.

With this quote, Martin Luther King has inspired his audience to always keep improving their lives. We all know that achieving our goals is not an easy mission, but it’s not impossible too. If there was a good plan followed by specific instructions, this will make you reach what you want in short times. These instructions are as follow; First, be confident, once you have confidence in your abilities, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish. Second, keep learning by staying updated with the developments that happened lately. This, in turn, will constantly improve your skills and make you more intellectual. Third, accept failure in order to reach success. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ll try to reach your goals, what is really matter that at the end you'll achieve them. Colonel Sanders’s -founder of KFC- recipe was rejected 1009 times before anyone accepted it. Fourth, Learn from your first mistake because it will give you useful experience and try not to duplicate this mistake. Fifth, manage your time wisely by prioritizing your tasks and don’t let anything distract you from finishing these tasks. Sixth, surround yourself with the motivated people because they’ll support you when you feel disappointed. Eighth, don’t put goals and wait for it to be achieved by itself, “Go for it”, go for every dream you have in your imagination. Ninth, It’s never too late, even your age shouldn’t deter you from giving the best that there is in you. Colonel Sander has found KFC in his fiftieth.

Ultimately, Family should not interfere in their children’s dreams, they should let them do things they are passionate about, with providing ongoing support when they failed and helping them to make their dreams come true. If they force them to do what they dislike they may succeed, but there won’t be passion and therefore they will always think about their own dreams.

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Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

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The learner's ability to use certain marks to clarify meaning of their writing by grouping words grammatically into sentences and clauses and phrases.

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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert)
2153

Hi again, Iman. I strongly agree with you. I think everybody should deploy such philosophy in their lives in order to be happy and successful. I have been trying my best to follow the principles you mentioned for a few years now. I liked your text a lot. I read it and made some modifications, please take a look.

 

GO FOR IT

 



 

 

 

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward”.

With this quote, Martin Luther King has inspired his audience to always keep improving their lives. We all know that achieving our goals is not an easy mission, but it’s (Contractions are good for spoken English but not for written English) not impossible too, either (“Too” is for positive, “either” is for negative.). If there was is (Conditional type 1, more info at https://www.ef.com/wwen/english-resources/english-grammar/type-1-conditional/) a good plan followed by specific instructions, this it will make help (“Make” has the meaning of forcing somebody.) you reach what you want in the short times term (or short run). These instructions are as follows: First, be confident. Once you have confidence in your abilities, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish. Second, keep learning by staying updated up to date with the latest developments that happened lately. This, in turn, will constantly improve your skills and make you more intellectual. Third, accept failure in order to reach success. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ll try to reach your goals, what is really matters is that at in the end you'll achieve them. Colonel Sanders’s -founder of KFC- recipe was rejected 1009 times before anyone someone accepted it. Fourth, learn from your first mistake because it will give you useful experience and try not to duplicate repeat this mistake. Fifth, manage your time wisely by prioritizing your tasks and don’t let anything distract you from finishing these tasks them. Sixth, surround yourself with the motivated people (You are talking about “motivated people” in general and not specific motivated people.) because they’ll support you when you feel disappointed. Eighth, don’t put your goals off (When you put something off, you delay it.) and do not wait for it them to be achieved by itself automatically. “Go for it”, go for every dream you have in your imagination. Ninth, it’s never too late; even your age shouldn’t deter you from giving the best that there is in you. Colonel Sander has found founded (It has happened in the past with the time being mentioned.) KFC in his fiftieth.

Ultimately, Family should not interfere in their children’s dreams, they should let them do things they are passionate about with by providing them with ongoing support when they failed and by helping them to make their dreams come true. If they force them to do what they dislike they may succeed, but there won’t be any passion involved and, therefore, they will always think about their own dreams.


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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
532

Thanks a lot Ali for your amendments.

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Xantheini's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate) Tamil (Beginner)
15

Hello Iman,

You did a great job on this. I definitely agree with the things you wrote. It's a good way to live life and achieve your dreams.

I see Ali has made corrections already. I think the only other one I would make is changing "Colonel Sander has found KFC in his fiftieth." to "Colonel Sanders founded KFC in his fifties." Fiftieth doesn't make sense there.

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edhutchins88's picture
I learn : Chinese (Beginner) French (Beginner) German (Beginner) Portuguese (Beginner) Spanish (Beginner) Arabic (Beginner)
3610

Hello Iman,

Wow! That was another incredibly inspiring piece of writing.

I honestly never knew Colonel Sanders’s (the founder of KFC) recipe was rejected 1009 times before someone accepted it! Look at how successful KFC is now haha. In England, there are numerous KFC restaurants in virtually every town and city! I bet there are in your country too!

With regards to your written English, it just keeps getting better and better! So very well done.

I would just add the following to the above comments:

1. it will help you reach what you want in the short term. I would say "it will help you reach your goals/objectives in the short term. " What you wrote is not wrong, I just (personally) think it's clearer to use  the word "goals" or "objectives".

2. your age shouldn’t deter you from giving the best that is in you. I would include the following idiom and change it to the following "your age shouldn't deter you from always giving the things you do your best shot"

 

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
532

hahaha yes sure, there are a lot of KFC here, we have 2 or 3 branches in each territory

and for me, I am in love with their food, my friends always find me there.laugh

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
3474

Hi Iman

Your writing is so inspiring and I really enjoy it, partly because of the subject matter but partly because you write really well.  There are a few tweaks but extremely well done!

It's not impossible either [this is better than "too" in the negative].

Because you are starting the sentence with "If" you are using the conditional so change "this will make you reach what you want in short times" to "this would make you reach what you wanted in a short time" 

"with the developments that happened lately" - use the present perfect here so "with the developments that have happened lately"

A few tweaks to this sentence:  "It doesn't matter how many times you try to reach your goals, what really matters is that in the end you achieve them"

Surround yourself with motivated people.  [You don't need the article "the" here because you are being general, not specific].

"Don't make goals and wait for them to be achieved by themselves."

[You don't need "even".  Just say "Your age shouldn't deter you from being the best there is"]

Colonel Saunders found KFC when he was 50 [or] in his 50th year.  You don't need the present perfect here because you have the time marker "when he was 50".  [This keeps it in the past simple].

[Change "when" to "while":  while providing ongoing support when they fail. [Keep to the present tense here]. 

"Helping them make their dreams come true" [We don't need "to" with make here]

It's better to say "there won't be any passion" and in the last sentence, use the present continuous "they will always be thinking about their own dreams".

 

 

 

 

 

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
532

HI ROS,

thanks a lot for your amendments.

But regarding the last one thinking( what I know that "think" is one of stative verbs so we can't use it with progressive/continuous).

kindly provide me with your advice about it.

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Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
3474

In this sense we can.  We can say "I will be thinking of you working away while I'm sunning myself on the beach!!"  Sometimes we just say "Thinking of you".

 

 

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
532

thanks again Ros

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Karin Brauner's picture
I learn : French (Beginner)
1710

Hi Iman, 

Very good text! 

I really enjoyed reading your advice on "going for it". I've learned a few things.

There are some errors but nothing major. Here are my corrections:

 

 We all know that achieving our goals is not an easy mission, but it’s not impossible too. - instead of too, I'd say "it's not impossible either"

 

If there was a good plan followed by specific instructions, this will make you reach what you want in short times. - would instead of will, as you used "was" at the start of the sentence. keep the verb tense the same throughout each sentence.

 

 These instructions are as follow; - maybe a typo but it would be "as follows"

 

and make you more intellectual.  - make you more knowledgeable 

 

what is really matter that at the end - what really matters in the end 

surround yourself with the motivated people -  surround yourself with motivated people 

don’t put goals and wait for it to be achieved by itself, - don't set goals and wait for them to achieve themselves

even your age shouldn’t deter you from giving the best that there is in you. - remove "even" and your sentence is great.

Colonel Sander has found KFC in his fiftieth. - in his fifties

 

 

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
532

Thanks a lot Karin, Appreciate your help

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BeckyGreenBeans's picture
I learn : Spanish (Beginner)
3209

Hi,

This a great piece of writing, your level of accuracy when it comes to spelling is very impressive.

Remember to watch your tense: 'If there was a good plan' should be 'if there is a good plan'.

A point on rephrasing:

- 'in a short space of time'

Thanks, 

Becky :)

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