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Hi, Edhutchins88! Thank you! I think we must make this...

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Thank you, Kjcoffin!

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Thank you, Lynette, for very useful comment!

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Thank you, Kjcoffin! I'll try to do what you said.

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Thank you, Kjcoffin! Seemingly obvious mistakes, but it'...

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Subject: JOBS

Subject: JOBS

Aristotle, one of the greatest philosophers in history said, “A pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work”. A lot of us work in the career they had always dreamed of it, while others didn’t have the chance to be in the job they’ve wanted. But if we don’t love what we do, there won’t be any pleasure in our life.

When I was at Secondary school, I used to think a lot about the day I will be a pharmacist, my dream job, I love to deal with things related to medicines, injections, etc. Fortunately, I have achieved part of this dream. I am working now as a pharmacist for my parents. I still remember when I was helping my Math teacher to explain lesson for students, I was among the first in Math Subject and I was intending to be a Math teacher. Besides that, I hope to have this job that won’t make me sleep at night, and have always a headache, but at the same time will give me the most wonderful feeling in life which is mother job. On other hand, I can’t imagine myself working as waitress due to my friend advices, who always complains about bad customers and how the manager obliged her to not make the client feel angry. The Second job that I’m not planning to make it part of my life is the journalist job because it needs a person who talks a lot which is not compatible with my personality. Also, I would hate any job consist of duties like informing someone that he will be fired from work, like Human Resources job. Moreover, I wouldn’t mind working as a baby sitter, I turn into a child when I sit with group of babies. I love cooking and good at it, so I would love to be a cooker if there someone will clean after me. However, my brother’s manager offered me to be a tour guide for his company. I didn’t accept because I don’t know a lot of places and I wasn’t good at English, while now I wouldn’t mind thinking for applying for it.

Eventually, many o f us have struggled with their jobs and duties which make them sometimes procrastinate to finish these duties. It may be hard to find the job you love or you have dreamed about it. But I believe that, once we have the chance to do what we are passionate about, we shouldn’t think twice to accept it.

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Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

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The learner's ability to use certain marks to clarify meaning of their writing by grouping words grammatically into sentences and clauses and phrases.

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The learners' ability to form words with the correct letters in the correct order

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The learner's ability to tailor the written work to fit the specific context, purpose, or audience

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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert) Spanish (Beginner)
4813

Welcome back, Iman. Great job here. I agree with you and I think that everybody should go after their dreams and passions, otherwise, one cannot find true happiness in life. Regarding your text, I made your modifications to it. Please take a look. Remember, the more you post and the more your get corrected, the more you learn!

 

Subject: JOBS

Aristotle, one of the greatest philosophers in history, (You need two commas on the two sides of an appositive.) said, “A pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work”. A lot of us work in the career they we had have always dreamed of it, while others didn’t have the chance to be in the job they’ve (Be careful with contractions when writing. Contractions are not formal.) always wanted. But if we don’t love what we do, there won’t be any pleasure in our life.

When I was at Secondary school, I used to think a lot about the day I will would (You are talking about the past.) be a pharmacist, which is my dream job. (Here the sentence finishes and we go to the next one.) I love to deal with things related to medicines, injections, etc. Fortunately, I have achieved a part of this dream. I am now working as a pharmacist for my parents. I still remember when I was helping my Math teacher to explain lesson for to students, I was among the first top students in Math Subject and I was intending intended to become a Math teacher. Besides that, I hope to have this a job that won’t make let me sleep at night, and have causes me to always a headache, but at the same time will give me the most wonderful feelings in life which is mother job (???). On the other hand, I can’t imagine myself working as a waitress due to following my friend's advice (not countable), who always complains about bad customers and how the manager obliged her to not make the client feel angry. The Second job that I’m not planning to make it  a part of my life, is the journalist journalism job because it needs requires a person who talks a lot, which is not compatible with my personality. Also, I would hate any job consist of involving duties like informing someone that he will be fired from work, like working at Human Resources department job. Moreover, I wouldn’t do not mind working as a babysitter, I turn into a child when I sit with a group of babies. I love cooking and I am good at it, so I would love to be a cooker (cook or chef) if there is someone will to clean up after me. However, my brother’s manager offered me to be a tour guide for at his company. I didn’t accept because I don’t know a lot of places and I am not wasn’t good at English. while Now, I wouldn’t mind thinking about for applying for it.

Eventually, many of us have struggled with their our jobs and duties which makes them us sometimes procrastinate to finish these duties. It may be hard to find the job you love or you have dreamed about, it. but I believe that once we have the chance to do what we are passionate about, we shouldn’t think twice to accept it.

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
532

thanks alot Ali.

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curious's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
305

Hi Iman,

"But I believe that, once we have the chance to do what we are passionate about, we shouldn’t think twice to accept it." That's great and I agree with you 100%. But, sometimes we find ourselves having no choise other than accepting what we are doing and trying to love it and adapt with it  even if it was never one of our plans or interests. Wish you  make great achievements and do what you really want , love and what really make you happy. Wish you all the best Iman.

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
532

choice*

yes, curious, sometimes we obliged to accept what we have and believe me you'll be happier if you accept to be adapted to it(if we have to), I am grateful for your wishes and hope you the same.

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