Lingorocks leaderboard

Recent Comments

BeckyGreenBeans's picture

Hi,

Thanks for this. I can see your creative...

3 min 5 sec ago
Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! Thank you for your comment and corrections! I...

4 hours 4 min ago
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Kealin! I will try to use shorter sentences...

4 hours 11 min ago
Oleks's picture

Hi Ed! At the time I myself was only sitting at the...

4 hours 17 min ago
Oleks's picture

Thank you, Kealin! At last not a single extra comma!

4 hours 25 min ago

Talking about special trips 3

After a while we were around the lake taking photos in order to share this magical experience with family and friends, yet that proved been impossible. Unless the entire mobile system should been upgraded in the blink of an eye, there was no way to have signal for our smartphones, in fact the only moment I got signal the line cut off immediately.

 

It would seem that we have to keep our secret until our return to the city. And that was good, we put off the tech thing, layback and chilled out as human beings are meant to do.

 

On the whole, magical places existed to be enjoyed peacefully and to be soaked up in our souls more than in the memory of some tech toy.

Undefined
Select Language: 
CategoryAdequate to goodGood to ExcellentNeeds work
Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

There are 3-4 grammatical errors
People thought this
0
There are 0-2 grammatical errors
People thought this
4
There are 5 or more grammatical errors
People thought this
0
Punctuation

The learner's ability to use certain marks to clarify meaning of their writing by grouping words grammatically into sentences and clauses and phrases.

There are 3-4 errors in capitalization and punctuation.
People thought this
1
There are 0-2 errors in capitalization and punctuation.
People thought this
3
There are 5 or more errors in capitalization and punctuation.
People thought this
0
Spelling

The learners' ability to form words with the correct letters in the correct order

There are 3-4 spelling errors
People thought this
0
There are 0-2 spelling errors
People thought this
4
There are 5 or more spelling errors
People thought this
0
Style

The learner's ability to tailor the written work to fit the specific context, purpose, or audience

Mostly understandable. However, there are a few errors which cause confusion.
People thought this
1
Easy to understand. Writing flows and keeps reader engaged.
People thought this
3
Quite hard to understand.
People thought this
0
Ros Watson's picture
I learn : Italian (Beginner) French (Beginner)
5519

Adrian - you write so beautifully - I've just marked a couple of changes below.  Lovely to hear from you again!  Ros

 

After a while we were around the lake taking photos in order to share this magical experience with family and friends, yet that proved been to be impossible [Use the infinitive here]. Unless the entire mobile system should been was upgraded in the blink of an eye, there was no way to have signal for our smartphones, [As there are two clauses with main verbs you need to use a full stop ".", a semi colon ";" or a dash "-"] - in fact the only moment I got signal, the line cut off immediately.

 

It would seemed that we would have to keep our secret until our return to the city. And that was good, we put off the tech thing, lay back and chilled out as human beings are meant to do.

 

On the whole, magical places existed [I would use the present tense here] to be enjoyed peacefully and to be soaked up in our souls more than in the memory of some tech toy.

Comment Rating : 
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Lynette's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
485

Well written Adrian.  Ros has covered any errors. Keep up the good work. 

Comment Rating : 
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert) Spanish (Beginner)
6238

Well done again, Adrian! Keep up the good work.

 

After a while, [comma needed] we were around the lake taking photos in order to share this magical experience with family and friends, yet that proved been to be impossible. Unless the entire mobile system should been was upgraded in the blink of an eye, there was no way to have signal for our smartphones; in fact, [comma needed] the only moment I got [space needed] signal, [comma needed] the line cut off immediately.

It would seemed that we would have to keep our secret until our return to the city. And that was good; we put off the tech thing, lay laid back, and chilled out as human beings are meant to do.

On the whole, magical places existed [general fact] to be 

Comment Rating : 
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
2680

After a while we were around the lake taking photos in order to share this magical experience with family and friends, yet that proved been to be impossible. Unless the entire mobile system should would have been upgraded in the blink of an eye, there was no way to have a signal for our smartphones. In fact the only moment I got a signal, the line cut off immediately.

 

It would seem that we have to keep our secret until our return to the city. And that was good because we put off the tech thing, layback laid back and chilled out as human beings are meant to do.

 

On the whole, magical places existed to be enjoyed peacefully and to be soaked up in our souls more than in the memory of some tech toy.

 
Good job on this one, keep it up
Comment Rating : 
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)
juliemin888's picture
I learn : French (Beginner)
100

Well written! Everyone else has got grammar covered for you yes

I'd recommend using a more descriptive word or phrase for "tech thing".

Good job!

Comment Rating : 
5
Average: 5 (1 vote)