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Ronny Castillo's picture

I think I could do it better.

37 min 18 sec ago
HortenseMaldonado's picture

Content of the vacations is filled on top of the items...

Monday, April 22, 2019 - 21:00
Ros Watson's picture

A very well written piece about the recent tragic fire...

Sunday, April 21, 2019 - 16:21
Ros Watson's picture

Really inspirational piece!  I totally agree with what...

Sunday, April 21, 2019 - 16:01
Ros Watson's picture

Hi Iman. This is fun!  Just a few tweaks in an otherwise...

Sunday, April 21, 2019 - 15:32

writing a biography about famous person

“…I’ve born thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me!..”

This was a part of speech which delivered at the Ohio Women’s Rights Convention in 1851.

In the honors of mother’s day, I would be delighted to highlight the biography of a woman who gave birth to her children, when she was a slave in New York. A woman with improvised speech "Ain't I a Woman?".

Isabella Baumfree who has known later as Sojourner Truth, was born into slavery in 1797. When she was 9 years old, she had been sold with a flock of sheep for 100 USD to a person who knew as harsh and violent one. She had born thirteen children, one from the person who fell in love with, and others from the person who her owner forced her to marry.

In addition, her glamour as an anti-slavery woman started to appear when she knew that her son with five years old had been sold to a person who lives abroad. Truth didn’t afraid from speaking out, she raised money, hired an attorney, and challenged the seller in a united states court, using her best-known sentence “I’ll have my child again”.

Besides she brought her son back to New York, this was the first case in which a black woman successfully challenged a white man in a United States court. Moreover, her speech “Ain’t I a woman” made her widely known and had a lot of people who helped her in anti-slavery publication, she dedicated her life to abolish slavery until she became an African American abolitionist and women’s rights activist.

She helped to recruit African American people in the Union Army. Also, she forced the discrimination of streetcars by riding in a car that was designated only for whites. Another point is, she demanded the government to provide lands for former slaves. Her memories were published in a book; a library has been established and named by her name “The Sojourner Truth Library” which exists in State University of New York and finally a nonprofit organization located in Indiana was named “The Sojourner Truth House”.

 

 

 

 

 

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Grammatical Accuracy

The learners ability to use nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. correctly in sentences, using verb tenses accurately, and having the correct agreement between subjects and predicates. For instance, one would say "they were" instead of "they was."

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Punctuation

The learner's ability to use certain marks to clarify meaning of their writing by grouping words grammatically into sentences and clauses and phrases.

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The learners' ability to form words with the correct letters in the correct order

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Style

The learner's ability to tailor the written work to fit the specific context, purpose, or audience

Mostly understandable. However, there are a few errors which cause confusion.
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Aliakbar Majidi's picture
I learn : French (Beginner) Persian (Expert)
2153

Hi Iman. Wow! Good job! I liked the subject a lot. A mother fighting for their children, that is adoring! I hope discrimination will not be an issue anymore. Regarding your text, I rewrote it with some suggestions, please take a look.

 

“…I’ve born thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me!..”

This was a part of the speech which delivered at the Ohio Women’s Rights Convention in 1851.

In the honor of mother’s day, I would be delighted to highlight the biography of a woman who gave birth to her children, when she was a slave in New York. A woman with improvised speech "Ain't I a Woman?".

Isabella Baumfree who has was known later as Sojourner Truth, was born into slavery in 1797. When she was 9 years old, she had been was sold with a flock of sheep for 100 USD to a person who knew was known to be as harsh and violent one. She had born gave birth to (more common) thirteen children, one from the person who she fell in love with, and others from the person whom her owner forced her to marry.

In addition, her glamour as an anti-slavery woman started to appear when she knew found that her five-year-old son with five years old had been sold to a person who lives lived abroad. Truth didn’t afraid from scare her and didn’t stop her from speaking out. She raised money, hired an attorney, and challenged the seller in a united states court, using her best-known sentence “I’ll have my child again”.

Besides she brought her bringing her son back to New York, this was the first case in which a black woman successfully challenged a white man in a United States court. Moreover, her speech “Ain’t I a woman” made her widely known and had a lot of people who helped her in anti-slavery publication. She dedicated her life to abolishing slavery until she became an African American abolitionist and women’s rights activist.

She helped to recruit African American people in the Union Army. Also, she forced challenged the discrimination of streetcars by riding in a car that was designated only for whites. Another point is Moreover, she demanded the that government to provide former slaves with some lands for. Her memories were have been published in a book; a library has been established and named by after her name “The Sojourner Truth Library” which exists is located in the State University of New York and finally, a nonprofit organization located in Indiana was named “The Sojourner Truth House”.

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
532

thanks Ali,

much appreciated

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kjcoffin's picture
I learn : Spanish (Intermediate)
845

“…I’ve born thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me!..”

This was a part of the speech which was delivered at the Ohio Women’s Rights Convention in 1851.

In the honors honor of mother’s day, I would be delighted to highlight the biography of a woman who gave birth to her children (comma not needed here) when she was a slave in New York. A woman with improvised speech "Ain't I A Woman?".

Isabella Baumfree, who has known later as Sojourner Truth, was born into slavery in 1797. When she was 9 years old, she had been sold with a flock of sheep for 100 USD (Can also use "$100") to a person who knew as who was known as, "The harsh and violent one". She had born thirteen children, one from the person who she fell in love with, and others from the person who her owner forced her to marry.

In addition, her glamour as an anti-slavery woman started to appear when she knew that her son with five years old son had been sold to a person who lives abroad. Truth didn’t wasn't afraid from speaking out. She raised money, hired an attorney and challenged the seller in a United States court (comma is not needed here) using her best-known sentence “I’ll have my child again”.

Besides she brought her bringing her son back to New York, this was the first case in which a black woman successfully challenged a white man in a United States court. Moreover, her speech “Ain’t I A Woman” (capitalize every word since it is the title of something) made her widely known and had a lot of people who helped her in anti-slavery publication. She dedicated her life to abolish slavery until she became an African American abolitionist and women’s rights activist.

She also helped to recruit African American people in the Union Army. Also In addition, she forced the discrimination of streetcars by riding in a car that was designated only for whites. Another point is that she demanded the government to provide lands for former slaves. Her memories were published in a book. A library has been established and named by her name after her entitled, “The Sojourner Truth Library” which exists in State University of New York. Finally, a nonprofit organization located in Indiana was named “The Sojourner Truth House”.

 

Overall written pretty well, just work on your punctuation particularly with your commas and periods

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iman mohammed's picture
I learn : English (Intermediate)
532

much appreciated

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BeckyGreenBeans's picture
I learn : Spanish (Beginner)
3209

Hi Iman, thanks for this! Your spelling looks almost 100% accurate!

Make sure you give national days like 'Mother's Day' capital letters.

Thanks,

Becky :)

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